Joanne Mallon's Opposable Thumbs

Could you do a day without technology?

I was woken up on Sunday morning by the sound of my daughter hustling my hairdryer out of the room.

At this point I realised that my day without screens had mutated into a day without technology AKA Nothing With a Plug.

The Offspring took custody of my smartphone, Chromebook and Kindle.

The path to the PC was blocked and I was barred from approaching the TV, washing machine and any other gadgetry. 

This was quite a wrench. I mean, I wouldn't say I was totally tech-mad, but this is what I normally look like in the mornings:

 

Me without my make up

 

 But clearly I have survived, albeit somewhat shaken and stirred.

The main trip down memory lane was going out for a walk to buy a Sunday paper. I used to LOVE doing this and did it every week for years. But the The Observer seemed to get thinner and not worth £2 when you could read the 3 or 4 articles you were interested in online for free anyway. And thus the end of the print publishing industry began.

I only had £6 in my purse and in keeping with non-technology day I didn't go to the cashpoint. And no online shopping for me either. I remember when I first started work and used to take cash out of the bank for the week and that was it. I used my budget very carefully and wondered how much extra we now spend just because it's easy to do so.

In the afternoon we did lots of cooking, though I wasn't allowed near the food processor. Between us we made soda bread, treacle tart, banana biscuits and spicy cottage pie. I had wanted to make a loaf in the breadmaker but had to opt for soda bread which is very easy to make by hand. Normally I would've taken a few pics on my phone and maybe Instagrammed the goodies but not on Sunday. 

 

A cake I made earlier

 

I think that's quite an interesting thing to consider in itself - does an experience that you record and share automatically become more valuable than one you only live in the moment?

If a tree falls down in the forest and nobody Instagrams it and shares it on Facebook, where are all the squirrels?

And there was no iPhone-broadcast music whilst cooking, but at least the kids were spared some of the ripe language that the Foo Fighters are apt to come out with.

Although I enjoyed baking very much, I also found that it was at this point I got most twitchy. When I can see that something's got 7 minutes left to cook, that to me would be a normal time to check out what's going on on Twitter or the BBC News website. I did the washing up instead. It was far less fun.

All in all the day was a bit like being on holiday, or underwater.

So what did I discover?

• We don't really watch all that much TV
  I had agreed not to turn on the tellybox but in the end neither did anybody else. They were mostly playing Minecraft.
• Most of it I didn't miss
  I am on Twitter and Facebook so much during the week so I don't use them much at the weekend anyway.
• I missed my Kindle a lot
  Actually not so much the gadget but the book I was reading on it - I have really been enjoying a book about a 100 year old man which I picked up for 20p on the Kindle. You can't even get charity shop books for 20p these days.
• Real books are good too
  Instead I read most of The Lighthouse by Alison Moore, which is terrific.
• Some technology nobody wants
  I couldn't persuade anyone to take on the ironing so that was just left for the next day. Oh joy. 
• Technology helps me sleep. Possibly.
  I had the worst ever night's sleep on Sunday night.

 

The big lesson for me is that I need to work on my focus. Technology really disrupts that. You're doing one thing and you want to do another, and technology means you can. So I hardly ever do one thing at a time - I read a book but my mind wanders elsewhere so I take out my phone to look up that guy who was in that thing once.

I don't use my memory so much because who needs to when you've got Google at your fingertips? My mind is in too many different places at once and I need to bring it back to earth from time to time.

Several brave bloggers have volunteered to take on the no-tech day challenge. Many more have run away in horror at the very idea. So kudos to:

Jo at Mum Friendly

Jennifer at Jennifer's Little World

Kerry at And Then All I thought About Was You

Pippa at A Mother's Ramblings

Sara-Jayne at Keep Up With the Jones Family

Emma at Hertfordshire Mummy

Elaine at Stars & Roses

Hannah at Cupcake Mumma

Feel free to join in too and leave a link below if you post about it.

The rules as set for this challenge by my daughter are here, where you can also read her live blog of our day. But do adapt the rules to suit yourself - the basic aim is to go as technology free as you can. This is a hashtag-free challenge.

I am interested to know how far you can push this - what is it simply not possible to do, and what do we assume that we have to do, just because we have the tech toys to do it with. Where does technology save you time and where does it suck it up? What's easy, what's a struggle and what does that teach you about yourself?

Blogging predictions for 2013

If you look closely you'll see that something has changed about this blog. So what other changes could be in store for the Bloggiverse in 2013?

 

Here are some predictions

 

• Actual blogging police force to form
  Sometimes bloggers will criticise other bloggers, but preface this with Hey, I don't mean to sound like the blogging police but... before going on to say something inferring that how they run their blog is right, and how you all run your blog is wrong.
  
  Naturally this is very confusing for all involved.
  
  Luckily such confusion will cease with the formation of the Actual Blogging Police Force. The Force's mission will be to point out where other bloggers are doing it wrong. There will be special hats and (blog) badges. They will swoop in like the Spanish Inquisition. If you get a comment on a post saying Can you feel The Force? then you've been fingered as a wrong 'un and must retire from blogging at once. 
  
  I can foresee no problems with this system at all.

 

• At least one blogging network to close
  2012 saw a big surge in the number of networks claiming to connect bloggers with brands.  Since there's only so much of that gravy to go around, at least one of these networks will probably lie down under a bush and expire this year. Either that or they'll get bought out by a bigger blogging network, who will then be cursing as they realise they've bought a list of bloggers they're already connected to. 

 

• More blogs without comments
  Blog comments have really collapsed over the last year - partly because it's easier to respond via Twitter or Facebook and partly because it's harder to respond when you're reading a blog via a phone. A few bloggers have already announced their intention not to allow comments, so more are sure to follow. The good part about this is that if you're not getting any comments you can now claim to be highly fashionable and ahead of the curve. Win win.

 

• Old skool blogging to return
  Remember Old Skool Blogging - when you wrote just cos you had something to say, and it was fun to do? And you didn't bother with commercial stuff and it didn't bother you and everybody was happy with that? That's coming back. In a big way.

 

• G+ continues to mystify
  It's like the Derren Brown of social media in that respect.
  
  
• That monkey in a coat who went to Ikea to start a fashion blog
  I realise that this is unlikely, but it's still on my personal wish list.
  
  

What are your blogging predictions for 2013?

picture: Go away I'm blogging mug from The Literary Gift Company

Help! Netmums have stolen my daughter!

It's half term.

There are small people in my house.

And not content with pilfering all my printer paper they've only gone and occupied my internets as well.

The Netmums blog has been taken over by kids for the week, and children of bloggers are ratting out their lovely parents whose only want in life is a decent wifi connection.

How incredibly embarrassing for those parent bloggers. Bet you're glad you're not one of them, eh?

When you have a blog, you choose which aspects of your life you want to share. So IN with the amusing anecdotes that place you in a slightly daffy but winning light, and OUT with the time you recklessly drew a moustache on your child for the heck of it.

How terrible it would be if Daughter of Mine were to tell it like it really is.

Ooops too late.

Rock of Ages - party on dudes

If you go down in the tweets this week, watch out for some bloggers behaving badly.

For on Tuesday 9th October from 8.30pm UK bloggers are going to ROCK as we watch Rock of Ages and tweet about it.

It's the modern way.

Our parents would never have understood and that's what ROCK is all about. I think. Plus you don't have to leave the sofa and can monitor proceedings via the #RockofAges hashtag.

So it will come as no surprise to learn that the tweetalong is celebrating the release this week of Rock of Ages, the Eighties-themed musical stage show turned movie that nobody saw at the cinema. To get us in the mood for the film, Warner Bros have sent out a useful pack of accessories:

I bet that looks very attractive on:

I have no idea who that is, but she does a nice line in geek/rock hand movements.

I couldn't wait until the Tuesday tweetalong and must confess that I have already watched the film. It's great fun and highlights include: a monkey with a gun, and Tom Cruise in bed with 5 women. I still don't know which is more surprising.

Tom Cruise plays the rock god leader of a band called Arsenal. You never get bands called Sheffield Wednesday, which if you think about it is a much better name for a band.

But I don't want to spoil the plot, so have instead devised a simple game to add to your enjoyment.

 

Points, or a beverage if you're thirsty, if you spot:

• Tom Cruise's nipples staring at you menacingly. Actually, that happens a lot. You might want to have a precautionary snifter.
• A character asks a question and another character replies by belting straight into song. THIS IS WHY MUSICALS RULE
• Rock being betrayed, possibly by a saxophone
• Which accent Russell Brand is attempting. Could be Midlands, could be one of a number of areas of the UK
• World's most unprofessional interview, which could result in getting kicked out of the NUJ
• A song which was also in The Muppets film. Clue: it's not Man or Muppet.
• Haircuts that should be AGAINST THE LAW. Perhaps they fought the law, and the hairspray won.

So tweet up and enjoy the #RockofAges party. And never forget what they say about the Eighties - if you can remember it then you probably have a bad back and a better haircut now.

Rock of Ages is out this week on DVD & Blu Ray, priced from £10, with £2 off if you order before 21st October and use the code ROCKAGES. You'll have to supply your own frightwig though. 

 

Introducing KBC - the club for children who blog (and their parents)

 

That's www.KidsBlogClub.com to you

OK I know I've had a bit of a moan about having too much on the go (let's recap - that's coaching, writing features and a new book out soon, social media consultancy, running MediawomenUK, promoting 1st book, parenting, blogging and watching Dallas).

So what's the most sensible thing to do when you already have too much on and are visibly creaking at the seams?

Yes of course, you start a new project.

Let me introduce you to Kids' Blog Club.

For a while now I've had an idea that children's blogging could do with a thing. Not quite a network, cos kids aren't all that much into networking, but more of resource and a place to focus on.

I was one of the first journalists to write about children's blogs in 2010, when my daughter took up the hobby. At the start of this year my daughter and I started our blog together, Eljae, which has turned out pretty well and is great fun to collaborate on. More recently my son joined the blogging ranks and I'm very proud of his posts at The Turtle of Happiness.

Along the way I've been getting increasing numbers of parents approaching me for advice because their child wants to start blogging.

As parent blogging has increased, so children have started asking for a piece of the action. Did you think your child was going to sit there quietly forever while you documented their life in a post? No, they were probably out buying up a domain name of their own.

In particular this year I think children's blogging has taken off because of the school dinners blog Never Seconds - it was a topic that every child can relate to, and it achieved amazing things.

The whole point of Kids' Blog Club is to celebrate children's creativity. It's not about making the perfect blog or amassing thousands of readers. It's about having the gumption, imagination and energy to create something new. That's what I think is worth celebrating. This is what the future of the world will be built on.

It's designed to be read by parents and children because in my experience the vast majority of kids who blog do so with an adult helping in some way. So if your child wants to start a blog and you're not sure what to do, this site will help you both.

So please support the next generation of bloggers in any way you can - follow KBC on Twitter, Like the KBC page on Facebook, download the badge, share the link or stop by the site and leave a comment.

And if you (or your child) feel like writing a guest post let me know.I'm going to need some help, that's for sure.

16 things I learned at Blog Camp

I spent yesterday at my 3rd Blog Camp event. As ever it was full of insights, fun and cake. But we were also there to Learn Stuff. Stop learning and you stop living.

So here are 16 things I learned:

1. Even Google+ people know that Google+ isn't working as well as it should.
2. You can ask a question or give feedback about Google+ and it will be answered by a human being. This, apparently, is very unusual for Google, but I guess it's because they've realised that people talking to people is THE FUTURE.
3. Rich Snippets are an important thing for Google, though I'm buggered if I can understand why.
4. People react strongly to faces, so have lots of pics of them on your blog. I have a big moony face so I should be aces at this, but alas it also scares children so I might have to think on about that that one.
5. Cross pens are not cross at all but rather good and could well be my new stationery obsession.
6. If you meet a guy called Stuart don't congratulate him on his apps blog because that's the other Stuart.
7. We all need a StumbleUpon account, or at least to resurrect the one you opened three years ago.
8. Make sure your social media sharing buttons include a StumbleUpon sharing option - I had to add it to a couple of my Wordpress sites last night and I'm still looking for it here on Typepad.
9. StumbleUpon needs a 'Meh' button. I might send that in as feedback.
10. StumbleUpon can be a good alternative to Google if you're a journalist researching a topic. It hadn't occurred to me to use it as a research tool but I think that's a good tip.
11. This is resonating well with me is young Eurospeak for I like this, but they couldn't fit it on a StumbleUpon button.
12. Too much focus on brands and PRs can suck the fun out of blogging, even if not many people are ready to admit it.
13. Shut Up and Write (c) Keris. I liked that one.
14. Don't paparazzi the speaker via Instagram when he's minding his own business tweeting, not even if Actually Mummy eggs you on. It will be funny for a nanosecond and then you will feel like shit for the rest of the day.
15. Don't pap the speaker and then put the picture up on your blog
16. Oops! Too late!

Tots100 Summer Party Linky

This Friday it's the Tots100 Summer party. And seeing as it's in Brighton and so are we, it would be rude not to pop along. Though the weather in Brighton's been soggier than a five hour nappy recently so let's hope the sun comes out by Friday.

The event involves a trip to the circus.

What could a bloggers' circus possibly involve? Throwing custard pies at the trolls/clowns perhaps? High wire SEO? Lion taming via pithy commenting? I guess we'll find out.

Anya over at Older Single Mum has started a linky so people going to the party can get to know each other, so this is my introduction.

All four of us are planning to go along, so this will be a rare chance to meet our 100% authentic blogging team.

Youngest family member is Mr Turtle from The Turtle of Happiness, Eldest child can be found at Eljae, Himself is at JMR Higgs (ask him to tell you about the time he got 60,000 hits on a single post, it's a killer) and then there's me, here.

And if you can't make it, I will report back with any gossip, or failing that, make some up. A good blogger never lets the facts get in the way of a good story, or at the very least a Silent Sunday pic.

See you Friday! Send in the clowns!

 

10 ways to make money from your blog without running sponsored posts

This blog is my hobby. I don't run it as a business, I run it for fun. But I do get work off the back of it, and it adds to my income in a number of ways. Lately I've seen a lot of bloggers looking to monetise their blogs so I thought it would be interesting to look at some of the alternative ways you can do this.

Sponsored posts are an obvious option, but not everybody likes them or wants to have editorial input from anyone other than themselves. Or maybe you have a Wordpress.com blog which means you aren't allowed to, as it's against their terms & conditions.

I don't object to sponsored posts in principal, but they don't tend to make for the most scintillating reading. And as I'm super-fussy, I've only ever carried one sponsored post on this blog. So here are some other ideas to try:

10 ways to make money via blogging

1. Advertising
   The good thing about ads is that they're physically removed from the editorial content in a way that sponsored posts aren't. You can either sign up with a network or negotiate directly with the advertiser (almost certainly resulting in a better deal). Do your research if you join a network- talk to some of the other blogs on the network to see if they think it's worthwhile.
2. Selling books
   See the link to my book up there on the left? If you were to buy that, I'd get a few crumbs of royalties. If I'd published it myself then the crumb would be larger. Still a crumb though - the idea is to gather enough crumbs to sustain you. Helps if you like crumbs.
3. Affiliate links
   And if you were to click through to buy my book, as well as the royalties, I'd get 5% of the cover price, since that's an affiliate link to Amazon, as are most of the Amazon links you'll find on this blog. And that's how affiliate links work - if someone clicks through your link, you'll earn a royalty on anything they buy in that transaction. Obviously it helps if you like the company you're linking to and would genuinely endorse their products. I also recently agreed to be an affiliate for The Leather Satchel Company - anyone who uses the code here gets a fiver off and I get a small commission. But those guys are ace and their satchels are fantastic so I'm happy to do it.
4. Consulting
   I really enjoy this sort of work - it's interesting, well paid and there are usually biscuits (which makes a change from crumbs). The down side is that these are the sort of jobs that don't get advertised, you have to wait for them to find you. Just be aware that if you have a reasonable sized network via your blog and Twitter, that's an asset. And if a representative of a brand wants to pick your brains, that is a chargeable service. If you get asked to come up with the names of a bunch of other bloggers for a campaign, that is also a chargeable service. Of course sometimes you might want to do this sort of thing for free, because you're nice and you like the person who's asking. Just not always.
5. Charge for reviews
   I don't do this. I don't really agree with doing this - I think it compromises the objectivity of the review, and turns it into advertorial/sponsored post. But other bloggers definitely are, so I guess if you can find a way to charge for reviews that sits well with you ethically then good luck to you.
6. Charge for hosting competitions
   I can understand why this is becoming a chargeable service - it takes time and skills to administer a competition, and it's not always fun. At the moment I run competitions for the fun of it - the extra traffic and the warm fuzzy feeling of giving someone a cool prize. But I turn down extra competitions if I already have one running - perhaps it would make more sense to charge for the time instead?
7. Sell products
   Stitched a cushion? Made a cake? Written a book? Built a time machine? A blog can easily bolt on to an online shop. I was thinking of selling withering looks, because I make those on a daily basis, but the postage costs put me off.
8. Sell your services
   I'm thinking in particular about public speaking and writing (especially blogging), but really a blog can be used to sell a wide range of professional services. Just don't keep banging on about it. The moment I stopped mentioning my coaching business on here, I started getting a lot more clients who claimed to read my blog. Just make your readers aware of what you do and let them work it out from there.
9. Sell a course
   Ecourses seem to be pretty popular with many bloggers as you can write the material once and sell it many times. This works well if you have a how to/solving a problem sort of blog. 
10. Offer paid subscriptions to your blog on Kindle
    Why people pay for blog subscriptions on Kindle when they could get them for free on the internet I do not know , but they do. It's a slightly fiddly but reasonably painless process to list your blog on Kindle - this post explains what to do well.

 

All in all I think that there's a lot of guff spouted about the potential earning power of blogs - the return compared to the time you put in is often very small. I suspect that the people doing best out of blogging right now are further up the food chain - running networks, hosting events etc. Though come to think of it, if there isn't a network or event for your type of blogging, perhaps the smart thing is to focus your efforts there?

Son of Mine goes solo

Earlier in the week I posted about what to do if your child wants to start a blog.

And then sure enough, as night follows day, my youngest announced that he'd like to start a blog too. Why did I not see that coming?

So I explained about online privacy and why all that stuff's important - Say you became Mayor of London when you grew up, you wouldn't want people reading stuff you'd written when you were 9, would you?

He was unimpressed by this argument: Oh no, I wouldn't mind it at all.

And maybe that's how it is for kids today. They grow up with a digital footprint from day one, with no distinction between public and private life. That'll be interesting for politicians of the future.

Anyway, I've pulled rank on this one and he has indeed adopted a blogging pseudonym.

So say hello to Mr Turtle, newly in residence at The Turtle of Happiness.

I think I am starting to enjoy blogs written by children more than adult ones. Remember when people used to blog for fun, rather than the prospect of monetisation? Remember when there was no pressure on bloggers to be professional, because it wasn't a profession, just a hobby? Remember when you used to write headlines because you liked the way the words sounded together, rather than how they worked for SEO?

Obviously I won't be doing any of that stuff myself, but it's nice to know you can rely on the kids to keep standards up.

Meanwhile, in our house, we now have more blogs than people. I don't *think* the cat's got one but I wouldn't swear to it. He's very grumpy, he's certainly got the look of somebody whose broadband is playing up.

So your child wants a blog

So many parents have asked me about children's blogging recently - looks like that kid with the school dinner blog has really sparked something in the junior collective imagination.

The great thing about blogging for kids is they can quickly create something that looks impressive and have fun in the process. It's great for literacy, IT skills and imagination. As long as you the parent keep an eye on it and don't let your child run hog wild over the internet, it can be a fab, fun hobby.

My daughter started blogging two years ago, when she was 10. Now that she's all of 12, we have our blog, Eljae, that we write together. Yesterday we published our list of Top 10 Cool Kid Bloggers.

So what if your child wants to join the crew?

 

Where to start if your child wants to write a blog

Before you crank up the laptop, sit down and talk to your child about basic online safety.

• Don't post your full name. Unless their first name is quite a common one, it might be better for your child to adopt a blogging pseudonym. Essentially you need to protect them from the future employers, friends and enemies who are guaranteed to one day Google their name.
• No identifying characteristics - ie don't post any details about where you live or go to school. No pictures with school uniforms/logos.
• No identifying anybody else - it might be tempting for a child to use their blog to rant about the bully they hate, but you have to caution them against this.
• Never ever contact or respond to anyone directly who tries to contact you via the blog. This, I think is the scary part for most parents. Is some crazy weirdo going to swoop down out of the internet and scoop up my child? Unlikely, but no harm in guarding against it. But don't let paranoia about who's out there suck the fun out of your blogging. Be cautious, not fearful.

 

Should you be worried about who's reading your child's blog?

Think about how open you want the blog to be. All blog hosts have options, ranging from completely private (ie only people you give the link & password to can read it) to public (ie listed in Google, open for anybody to see).

You might think that the most private option makes most sense for a child's blog, but not necessarily. My daughter's first blog wasn't listed on search engines, so it didn't get a lot of hits or comments. And children love that kind of instant feedback and interaction. So for Eljae we keep it public and enjoy seeing the hits and comments come in from all over the world.

Whilst it's commonplace for adult blogs to have related Twitter feeds and Facebook pages, I don't think this is necessary or particularly desirable for a child's blog. Instead I use my Twitter and Facebook pages if I want to promote any Eljae posts.

 

The rules of the game for child bloggers

Decide what the ground rules are going to be for your child's blog - do you want to see every post before they publish it?

Moderating comments is a very good idea - we find that Wordpress is good at picking up spam comments, but there has been the odd unpleasantness which has crept through.

From there, it's a question of pointing your child at Blogger or Wordpress and letting them start their blogadventure. You will need an email address to register an account so decide if you want to use your own or your child's or a gmail address that's just for the blog.

Keep a distant eye on what they're doing, but don't micro-manage. Let them make mistakes. Show them the basics of how to write a post, embed Youtube videos and add links, but apart from that, stand back and let your child get on with it. If you don't know how to do that stuff, Google it and find out together.

Talk to your child about copyright - you can't just pinch an image because you've seen it on the internet. Show them where to get copyright free images. This has the knock on effect of forcing your child to be more creative and come up with their own original visuals. Pic Monkey is a very good site for playing around with images, and it's easy as cheese to use - my daughter and I both like it a lot.

Ultimately I think blogging will be a short-lived craze for many children. Only a few will stick at it, and if that happens you may be facing the ultimate parent blogger horror story - what happens if your child's blog is more popular than yours?

After this, I reckon the next wave will be children blogging anonymously about their parents. Blimey. We don't want that. Keep your friends close and your bloggers closer, that's what I say.