Joanne Mallon's Opposable Thumbs

Game of effing Thrones

 

Excuse the radio silence, I've been nose-deep in a Game of Thrones box set. This is basically my life right now:

 

 

 

If you haven't seen it, Game of Thrones is like Lord of the Rings with boobs and beheadings, extra helpings of both. There is a character known as Mother of Dragons, who is the one person who doesn't write a parenting blog but really should.

It's kind of like The Wire in that you can't dive in at the middle and you have to pay attention. No watching with your laptop open idly browsing Amazon for cheap ebook offers.

And even if you are paying attention, you'll probably need to pause it from time to time to ask Who was that guy and why did he just get his head chopped off? Who's that cool giantess? Why is that mean oik still alive?

We are about half way through the box set of season two and already agreed that it's going to need a second watch, if only to check that the giant black fart that killed a man actually happened. Season One needed two approaches too, and it didn't even have the murderous blackfart ghost.

Part of what makes it interesting is that there's no traditional story arc, no hero's journey - good guys are not guaranteed to triumph; baddies don't necessarily get their comeuppance. Some characters start off good then go sour, some become less sour, others seem as vile as possible and then get worse.

Game of Thrones was largely filmed in Northern Ireland, in places I visited as a child like Castle Ward, Tollymore Forest and Shane's Castle. Looks like it's becoming a new thing for Norn Irn to be famous for, which makes a change from...er...that other thing.

And if you have seen it, join me now in a singalong of the theme tune

 

 

Happy Doctor Who Christmas

So Christmas preparation is underway. We're not bothering with Elf on a Shelf, Yoda in a Pagoda is more our style. After a lot of hunting we dug out our favourite fairy for the top of the tree.

The down side is that we now can't blink for 10 days.

 

Anyway, Christmas Doctor Who is on at 5:15pm - WTF is that all about? Talk about peaking early. 

TV show seeks parents whose children won't sleep

Sleep, or the lack of it, is a huge issue for parents of small children. There's a whole chapter on sleep in my book Toddlers: An Instruction Manual, where we offer solutions for every sleep issue from refusal to go to bed to early waking.

But it's not an easy one to tackle - the solutions in themselves are often quite simple; the main problem is that we the parents are too exhausted to implement them.

Now a new programme from Channel 4 is attempting to find a new way to help parents deal with sleep issues.

They have experts ready to help, but what they need are the parents with sleep problems to solve. So if your child is aged 2-11, experiencing some sort of sleep issue and you're interested in taking part in a TV show, get in touch with Jacqueline Paul on bedtime@twofour.co.uk or call 0207 438 1851

And if you don't want to solve your child's sleep-related issue by going on TV, you can always buy my book instead.

Just a thought.

Well, it was worth a try.

#please

Free BBC training offered for female experts who want to be TV presenters

There's been a lot of discussion lately about getting girls more interested in science. Some would argue that a lack of visible role models isn't helping. A cool woman talking science on the box will probably do more to get our daughters excited about it than any number of dry educational initiatives.

Luckily, the BBC is attempting to do something about this. It's launching a free training day for female experts who want to be TV, radio and online presenters, especially women with professional expertise in science. They're also on the hunt for wannabe TV stars from the worlds of history, politics, business and engineering.

The training day takes place in London on 18th January 2013.

If you're interested in attending, email your cv and a couple of paragraphs stating your USP as a presenter to expertwomen@bbc.co.uk. Please also state if you have any media experience.

But don't be put off applying if you don't have much in the way of media experience. Practice in front of a camera, make a few Youtube videos. Sometimes the best presenters are the people who don't know how much charisma they really have. If you're interested in this opportunity, go for it. You'll only regret it if you don't.

The deadline for all submissions is Friday 16 November 2012 so get your application in by then.

Good luck!

 

image credit: Ramona.Forcella

BBC journalist trainee scheme open for business

Just wanted to give you a heads up that the BBC Journalism Trainee Scheme is now open for applications.

This really is the golden ticket of media training schemes - if you can get on to this then you're set for life, career-wise. Succesful applicants get a year's paid training placements in BBC newsrooms and, in all likelihood, a glittering career afterwards.

I only ever got as far as the interview stage for this scheme, and it was one of the toughest interviews I've ever undergone. It was like walking through hot coals set to premium scorchio levels.

During the day long interview, I went out for lunch with some of my fellow wannabes. One of them cheerfully admitted that he'd noticed (by reading upside down) that the interviewers had written the word 'Pillock' on his application form. Fair play to him, he went back to complete the rest of the day. I bet he went far.

The BBC Journalism Trainee Scheme attracts around 3,000 applications each year, and one of the good things about it is that you can apply even if you're not currently working in media.

But you will have to have had a substantial amount of relevant work experience and be an altogether keen media bean to stand a chance of being awarded a place. It's not for anyone who vaguely fancies a job in meeja and doesn't much care what.

The BBC has said that it hopes to make the scheme more accessible to attract people from diverse backgrounds. So it doesn't matter if you went to Oxford or Cambridge, either will do (joking)   (I hope).

There's more information about the BBC Journalism Trainee Scheme here, and a direct link to the online application form here. Applications close on 8th October 2012.

Dallas reborn: Original series DVD review

Tonight is Dallas night on Channel Five, as the brand new series starts at 9pm.

However, in my house it's Dallas night EVERY BLOODY NIGHT since we've been rediscovering the original series courtesy of a box set of Seasons 1 and 2 which was sent to me for review by Warner Bros.

Season One of Dallas was originally conceived in 1978 as a 5 episode miniseries. It proved to be so popular that it lasted for 14 seasons and was one of the biggest TV shows in the world throughout the 1980's.

You can really see the difference between Seasons One and Two - everybody's got better hair and clothes, JR is front and centre much more, and Sue Ellen has finally been promoted to the credits.

Those iconic scenes we remember from Dallas - the windy breakfasts on the terrace, JR's famous stetsons with the crushed budgie hat bands, the female cast with only one bra between them - only really kick in from Season Two. This is where The JR Show really starts.

Season One focuses much more on Bobby and Pam's new marriage. Plus there's a lot of business with Miss Lucy and Ray Krebbs (who really is a bit of a dirty dawg who was far too old for Lucy. And he was later revealed to be her uncle. Shocker!)

It's very odd to return to this series after so many years. I vividly remember lying on a swirly Seventies carpet and watching it as a child. For some reason my dad used to read out all the cast members' names in a really loud voice as they scrolled past on their tryptic title sequence. Watching it now, I can hear my late father booming out BARBARA BEL GEDDES! LARRY HAGMAN! LINDA GRAY!

The programmes haven't been digitally restored, so if you're used to watching crisp Blu Ray pics then the quality of these programmes will seem a bit shonky. The title sequence of the first episode in particular looks like it was taped off someone's telly and really should've been cleaned up a bit.

Visuals aside, as a series it holds up really well. The plots are still engrossing, the characters are still terrific and Southfork is still the only mansion not to have enough seats in the living room for everyone to sit down at once. And JR is still the baddest of baddass villians this side of Glee's Sue Sylvester. It's terrific.

There aren't a lot of extras - four of the 29 episodes come with commentary. BUT that commentary is from Larry Hagman and Charlene Tilton AKA JR and Miss Lucy so that is worth the price of admission alone.

The only down side to this set is that once you've watched seasons one and two you're only going to want more, and there are 14 seasons in all. The season one and two box set is a fantastic bargain at £11.95, but then the price shoots up to around £40 for season three, £20 for season four etc.

I notice that Warner Bros have a box set of all 14 Dallas seasons released this week and retailing at £100, so time to crank open that Christmas list early.

Dallas Season One & Two box set is out now, priced around £11.95. Contains all 5 episodes of Season One and 24 episodes of Season Two - 1397 minutes total running time. Certificate 12.

One of these athletes is a dawg: Scooby Spooky Games DVD review

I am really looking forward to the Paralympics. It's incredibly inspiring to see what these athletes can achieve - this feature about the Paralympics from the BBC website is a fascinating insight into the background to the event.

And recently I encountered another group of highly challenged athletes, but I don't think inspiring is quite the right word to use. But still, some of these guys weren't even human.

Yes, with gold medal winning timing, it's Scooby Spooky Games which was recently sent to us by Warner Bros for review.

Most of the cartoons in this 113 minute compilation are vintage episodes from Scooby's All Star Laff a Lympics, a series which ran on TV from 1977 - 78.  This is one of those DVDs to watch with your kids, if nothing else so that you can explain who's who.

Kids these days have no idea who Captain Caveman or Dick Dastadly and Muttley are, though many will know Fred Flintstone and Yogi Bear. My favourite was the episode where they went to Ireland and met a magical leprechaun. Cos, like, we have those in Ireland. Masses of them.You just have to be cool enough to see them.

The compilation also includes a 23 minute modern Scooby Doo cartoon featuring Shaggy's little known history as an Olympic - oops, sorry, World Games - runner. Turns out all that running away from ghosts was good training.

All in all this is a nice little bargain cartoon compilation, just right for our sporting times. It's a certificate PG, though could easily have been a U, I didn't spot anything that would trouble sensitive souls. Leprechaun deniers may disagree.

 Scooby Spooky Games is out now on DVD, priced around £4.99.

Giveaway: Horrible Histories DVD Box Set COMPETITION CLOSED

THIS GIVEAWAY HAS CLOSED. DON'T LEAVE A COMMENT, IT WON'T BE COUNTED

Horrible Histories is just the perfect TV show, isn't it? It's educational, entertaining and funny, plus some of the actors are fairly easy on the eye. And if you're feeling generous, you can let the kids watch it as well.

It's the sort of programme which bears repeated watching, and handily enough Series 3 has just come out on DVD, closely followed by a box set of the first three series. This brings you up to date with series 4 which has just been shown on CBBC.

My children have enjoyed revisiting these episodes with enormous glee. I think the box set in particular is terrific value at £14.99 for nearly 20 hours of episodes plus loads of extras. If you've got school aged children you need it in your DVD library.

BUT - we can help with that, as the BBC have given us two copies to give away.

 

THE PRIZE

Two winners will each get a box set of the DVDs of series 1-3 of Horrible Histories, as modelled here by my lovely daughter.

 

HOW TO ENTER

To enter, leave a comment below saying what's your favourite historical era

 

EXTRA CHANCES TO WIN

You can have an extra entry if you like this blog on Facebook. State in your comment if you're claiming an extra entry.

We are also giving away another two copies of the Horrible Histories DVD box set over here on Eljae, so if you're keen you can enter that competition as well.

 

RESTRICTIONS

UK and Eire only. One entry per person on each competition. These are region 2 DVDs and may not be playable outside Europe.

 

CLOSING DATE

Midnight on Tuesday 10th July. Winners will be chosen at random after that and the box sets posted out as quickly as possible after that.

 

 

 

 

 

You can find more competitions to enter at ThePrizeFinder - UK Competitions and Loquax Competitions

First preview of the new series of Doctor Who

This looks ace - like Deadwood with added aliens. Can't wait.

TV company seeks people with fear of driving

 For those who have been asking, yes my book about fear of driving is almost

finished. I have about 45,000 words written and am just doing a final check that they all make sense. Then it goes off to the publisher to see what they think.

If you need some help with your driving right now, you might be interested to know that the AA is offering 2000 free two hour Drive Confident courses. Just fill in the form to apply.

Also, the TV series Dangerous Drivers' School is coming back to Channel 5 and is looking for participants. Here's a message from the production team:

"Do you have a son with a need for speed, or is your mum petrified at getting behind the wheel? Does your friend drive so badly you refuse to be their passenger, or are your grandparents housebound because they refuse to use their car? Do you suffer from road rage and think everyone but you should get off the road? If yes, then help is at hand.

Channel 5’s Dangerous Drivers’ School is back and continuing its mission to make our roads safer.

Last year the series turned 18 drivers from ‘accidents waiting to happen’ into safer drivers. In just two hours highly qualified AA instructors rectified a multitude of driving sins. They helped a mum get confidently behind the wheel after 20 years, a joyriding dad slash his speed so he could safely take his kids to school, and a motorway phobic join the rat run with confidence.

The new series wants to find vibrant, outgoing people of any age, from anywhere in the UK, who would like to take part in this great documentary. If you or someone you know needs to kill speed, gain confidence or banish bad habits, then get in touch with the team now.

Email: casting@matchlight.co.uk or call: 0141 342 2055"