Joanne the Coach

Tried and tested: How to really go to the gym 3 times a week

As 2011 was year four of my gym challenge (in which I aim to go to the gym 150 times a year AKA 3ish times a week), it marked my 600th gym trip.

But hey, who's counting? I certainly frickin' am.

So pulling together what I've learned, for anyone who's joining a gym and is aiming for the '3 times a week' schtick to stick, here's what I've learned:

1. Join the gym that's closest to you
   That's the one you'll go to. The slightly crappy gym you pass on the way home from work always trumps the one with better facilities that's a 10 minute drive in the opposite direction. The easier your gym is to get to, the more likely you are to go to it.
2. Spend the first month trying out all the classes
   Even the ones that sound a bit rubbish that you don't think you'll like or sound too hard. Do them all at least once. Do the ones you like twice. Don't worry about being the worst in the class - every class will have beginners in it, no matter what the time of year. And none of the regulars are judging you, unless you're wearing really bad harem pants, in which case you brought it on yourself.
3. Go 4 times a week
   Look, I didn't promise it was easy. There will be months when you'll be away, busy or simply can't be arsed. So to make your over all average 3 times a week, you need to aim for more than that as often as possible. From last year's stats, I had 4 months with less than 12 gym visits, 3 of 12 exactly (4 weeks, 3 times each) and 5 months where I went more than 12 times. It all evens out in the end.
4. Write it down
   Keep a diary where you note down all the exercise you're doing, and review it regularly.
   Otherwise I can guarantee you'll be kidding yourself about how much you do, and telling yourself you go around 3 times a week, when you only really went twice last month.
5. Accept that you will never get fit
   Fit isn't something you 'get' and then stop and feel pleased with yourself when you've got it. It's a journey, not a destination. A lifelong journey at that. If deep down you hate your gym time and can't face doing it for the rest of your life, find another fitness journey to travel on. If you're doing it right, it should be enjoyable, not a chore. Otherwise, what's the point?

image: ihasahotdog.com

 

My 2011 vital statistics

• 57 - Number of films I watched in 2011. Looking back on the list, a lot of them were quite duff. The Smurf Movie I can chalk up to the kids, but I only have myself to blame for Sex and the City 2.
• 21 - Number of books I read. Some of these were quite long, so if you count those ones twice then it bumps up the total to at least 30. This is how statistics work.
• 2 - Number of Jedwards I met. I mean, there were two of them, but perhaps this only counts as one. I'm confused. I'm too old for Jedwards.
• 150 - Number of times I went to the gym. Yet still I have a blogger's paunch. One of life's great mysteries.
• 1 2/3 - Number of books I wrote. Tried to write two and it didn't quite happen. But at least I have a project to take into 2012
• 4 - Number of hours I spent on the Doctor Who location walking tour. And still it went by in a flash.
• 1 - Number of babies I saw being born. That's plenty, really.

I think, as the numbers stack up, it's been a good year.

So, 2011, how was it for you?

 

Freelancers' challenge 2011

Did you think I'd forgotten?

Of course not, I was just letting all the dull people make and break their blah blah New Year Resolutions, whilst the rest of us cool people gather ourselves to take a big bite out of 2011.

From talking to people who took on last year's challenge, the interesting thing is that in the main, STUFF HAPPENED. It wasn't always the stuff they wanted, or thought they wanted at the start of the year. But the more action you take, the more likely you are to get in motion.

And also for me, looking back at 2010, the most interesting adventures were the ones I never saw coming. So if you want to reinvigorate your freelance career, take the challenge.

So, brave Freelancer, what are you aiming for this year? My main focus will be on having an open mind (to people, work, technology - basically all the stuff I'm scared of), and also on being kind. The state of the planet alarms me. I would like it to be a kinder place, so I am going to start by being kinder myself. So, sorry I said you were boring if you've set New Year Resolutions. Sheesh, this being kind lark is harder than I thought.

So what's your focus for this year? Last year I know many people took on the challenge to pitch to 20 new outlets across the course of the year. Other actions I think we could all take on board would be:

• Clean your desk
  If you're planning to bring a new attitude to work this year, show you mean business
• Prioritise your health
  Cos when you're the boss of you, health is key. What will you do this year to look after your own health better? When will you start?
• Learn a new skill
  Twitter, blogging, social media hoo ha, websites - It's not hard, this stuff, and some of it's even fun. What's the thing that deep down you know you really ought to know about, but don't?
• Identify your procrastination triggers
  I'm not saying get rid of them. But we freelancers looooove to procrastinate, don't we? And the first step in changing behaviour is to find out what it looks like. I have a feeling we will be revisiting this subject throughout the course of the year.
• Make a 'one day' list and plan to do at least one thing on it this year
   You know the sort of stuff, the things you'd like to do "One day..." Well, one day you'll be dead, so what exactly are you hanging around for?

So are you up for the challenge? What's your big focus for 2011?

 

pic: Valeriana Solaris

 

Planning to go to the gym 3 times a week? Don't bother

I was interested to read on The Guardian's website that Zoe Williams thinks that the gym is a con.

Williams admits that she doesn't actually use the gym she's a member of. I don't see how you can legitimately call that a con. Nobody forced you to sign up, it's your choice whether to shift yourself and go or not.

What I do think is a big fat con, however, is the widely-held notion that going to the gym 3 times a week is any sort of achievable or desirable aim.

For the last 3 years I have set myself a yearly challenge to go to the gym 150 times - i.e. 3 times a week, with a couple of weeks off for good behaviour. It doesn't sound that much until you start to do it, and keep doing it. And then you find yourself battling through blizzards and rising at the scrake of dawn on weekends just to get there.

To be honest, it's been an enormous pain in the (well toned) arse. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. It's just too bloody much.  Even with monitoring my visits, still somehow the days slip by and I end up going four times a week from September onwards, and virtually every day in December just to make up the numbers. What seems like a modest, achievable aim at the start of the year ends up as a daily slog.

And apart from wearing a groove from my house to the doors of LA Fitness, what have I achieved? Not much on the face of it.

I haven't had a sick day off work in all that time, which I miss because sickies sound like fun. Though as a self employed person who doesn't get sick pay, perhaps that's all the better. There's been a modest amount of weight loss - I've gone from a size 14-16 to a size 12-14. I still look basically chunky. I look better in lycra, but then I only wear lycra to the gym, so it's a bit of a Pyrrhic victory.

I'm ashamed to admit that my gym challenge has made me a little bit mean. I play Gym Top Trumps, where if there is someone next to me in a gym class who is better looking, thinner and younger, but less fit than me, then I WIN. What a meanie I am becoming. This place is morally corrupting my soul.

BodyCombat has taught me four ways to punch and five ways to kick, which I'm sure will come in handy in my future career as a superhero. And it has taught me how to work out to a disco remix of Status Quo without feeling ashamed. But surely I should be ashamed of that. My soul is becoming black and withered and my taste in music is shot to pieces.

On the upside, my mouse-addled right arm which seemed to be wearing out due to too much computer clicking seems to be back to full strength thanks to Body Pump.

So in essence, if you're thinking that thrice weekly gymmage it is a good idea, it isn't. Save your money and energy and stay home instead. Leave the gym to the rest of us soulless fools.

(Yes of course I'm doing it again this year).

 

pic: Flickr - ben_onthemove

New Year Resolutions for Freelancers

So 2010 is off the starting blocks, and next week we will be welcoming Blue Monday. More than just a New Order song or the day to dig out your favourite pornos, it's the Most Miserable Day of the Year - Official!

But the good thing is that once you've got Day of Doom out of the way, it's all uphill from there.

So how can a good freelancer make the most of the coming year? Whilst I'm not keen on resolutions ('cos they have a habit of not happening), intentions are a whole other box of frogs. Saying you intend to do something immediately makes it more focused and likely to happen.

Here are some possible New Year Intentions the freelancers amongst you might want to try on for size:

• More pitching
  Be specific about this if you're really intending to do it - how much more? When will you do it?
• Pitch to at least one new market/publication every month
  This will need to be preceeded by identifying and researching said new market before you pitch. Again, get clear on the hows, whens and wherefores if you're intending to do this.
• Identify at least one new subject area you can write about
  It's good to specialise but not to stand still. What's related to your current subjects and could be a possible marketplace for you?
• Pimp Your Workstation
  If you work from home, you only have yourself to blame if the place you work from isn't how you'd like it to be. Take half an hour to lovelyfy it. Or at least dump the dusty junk - very satisfying.
• Make a plan for the downtimes
  Freelancing never goes in a straight line, so some weeks will be busier than others. This is normal and not because you are crap at what you do. Make a list in the back of your diary of at least 10 things you'd do, if you only had the time. So the next time there's tumbleweed blowing across your desk, you know where to go for inspiration.
• Get out more
  Take up at least one interest that's not work related. Give your mind the shock of the new. You'll be glad you did.

I'm not sure what my 2010 intentions are going to be. Over all, it's be Be Zen in 2010. But the only practical way I can think of to approach that is to expand out the gym challenge and ramp up the cultural element. Many, many people have asked if I will pass the gym challenge on to them, but I have beaten them off with a big stick and a snarl like Gollum's. So I'm toying with: Seeing 50 movies, reading 20 books and doing 150 gym sessions. That'll do for starters.

What are you intending to do in 2010? If it's Leave More Comments, you've come to the right place:

Gym Challenge 2009 - The Result!

So here, in all its naked statistical glory, is the result of my 2009 gym challenge. If you remember, the target for the year was 151 visits, AKA 3 sessions a week for 50 weeks, with two weeks off for good behaviour, but an extra one added in so I can kid myself that I did better than last year's 150 total.

• January - 11 times
  Not a bad start to the year, but I wasn't exactly overdosing on effort
• February - 12 times
  The shortest month, so strictly speaking that should count for bonus points
• March - 11 times
• April - 12 times
• May - 11 times
  To keep to my target, I need to do at least 12 visits a month, but it's starting to slip away already
• June - 10 times
  At this point I got thoroughly hacked off with looking at the place and my own sweaty face in a giant mirror. Which explains...
• July - 8 times
  This month I mostly went to Christmas in July press shows, so when I should've been at the gym I was sitting in a field with fellow hacks, necking free champagne and cake. Life is full of tough choices
• August - 5 times
  Kids on school holidays and two weeks away explains this miserly total. But I always knew that this was going to happen, so there's no point in bleating about it
• September - 17 times
  I looked terribly blobby in my holiday photos, so this is where I start panicking about failing my own challenge. I'm nothing if not a tryer.
• October - 16 times
  Also went away for a week at half term, so most of these were done in a 3 week burst. Definitely deserve extra points for that
• November - 20 times
  Lots of stress and illness around this month, so it was good to have an escape. Though I did spend much of it feeling like I'd been kicked in the backside by a recalcitrant foal. Rest days are for wimps
• December - 18 times
  I genuinely had to dig a tunnel out of the snow to do most of these.

So if you're handy with the calculator, or have many, many fingers, you'll see that this takes us to a grand total of...

*drum roll*

151 gym sessions in 2009. And the year's not over yet. I could even do an extra one just for the heck of it. On second thoughts, maybe not.

So the big question now is, who else is man or woman enough to take on a gym challenge of their own in 2010? Please somebody take it off my hands, I keep hearing about other people who were smart enough to go for a Read 100 Books challenge or See 100 Films and I fancy trying one of those instead. Come on, if somebody else does it then that means I don't have to (doesn't it?).

Confession Time

Truth be told, this year's gym challenge hasn't gone so well. Long standing readers (both of you) will remember that last year, I set myself the challenge of going to the gym 150 times in the year. This works out at three times a week, plus two weeks off for good behaviour, so really it should have been straightforward enough to achieve.

Not so. It turns out that when you write things down in black and white and record what you're actually doing (as opposed to what you kid yourself you're doing), the picture changes a lot. This is why nutritionists will get their clients to keep a food diary of exactly what they're eating. Finance and time management experts also use this technique, advising clients to write down every penny and minute they spend. The gap between how you think things are, and how they really are, is enormous.

And so it turned out that although I had thought I was reasonably fit, I was actually a lazy-ass sucker who needed to up my game considerably. But I did get there in the end, though hitting the 150 target meant compulsory gym visits nearly every frickin' day in December.

So by the time we get to January 2009 me and my biceps were feeling kinda smug. I know what I'll do, I thought, let's go for another target. This time I'll go for the biggie and ramp it up - all the way up to 151. How bold.

So that's been this year's target. Only problem being, life got in the way. Just too much STUFF coming at me from all areas of life this year. And I'm not complaining about that because I like to be busy. Also round about June I suddenly felt very jaded with exercising and did slack off a bit. Then there was July, when I started going to lots of Christmas preview events which kind of boggled my brain a bit. In August I was away. So by September I was well and truly off track. To hit my target I'd need to re-start, and go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, for the rest of the year. Yikes. That's not a thing that real people actually do, is it? People with lives and jobs and STUFF going on.

So here we are on 16th November, 124 gym visits in and 27 to go by the end of the year. I'm still not sure if I can physically do this, but I'm having a go. Last week I went 6 days in a row, which was frankly too much as my legs ended up feeling like somebody else's. Get fit or implode in the process? Watch this space for what happens next.

The Fun Factor

I was at the gym yesterday (yes I am still going - this year's target is 151) and I noticed that number of people in the classes has thinned out considerably. So now I can do backward donkey kicks in BodyCombat without endangering anyone's unmentionables.

I'm guessing that this thinning out is because we are now into the New Year resolution slump. Now that it's March, we're so well embedded into this year, that we've forgotten there was ever a new beginning where anything felt possible. What did you start this year intending to do? And how has that worked out?

I did warn you that New Year Resolutions are infused with incredible guffociousness, and here's your proof. The problem with NYRs is that they tend to be so cardboard chewingly earnest. Self improvement doesn't have to mean forgetting to have some fun. In fact, I think one of the most self-improving things we could all do is ramp up the amount of fun in our lives.

When did you last have a good belly laugh?

If you can't remember, make that your mission for this week.

My Year of Gym-ing Dangerously

Round about now, it's traditional to look back on the resolutions you made at the start of the year and think "Ye Gods, what kind of over-optimistic idiot was I to think I could do THAT?"

As I mentioned in January, New Year resolutions are a load of old guff anyway. Intentions are what'll see you through.  I completely forgot that my intention was to Be Great in 2008, so probably didn't score too highly on that. I made some great cakes though. Next year is Be Kind in 2009, so that'll be easy enough (and will probably also involve cake).

My other major intention for this year was to go to the gym 3 times a week, or 150 times in the year.  I have been a member of my gym for a few years now, but had only ever gone once or twice or no times a week. 

I decided that since I was turning 40 at the end of the year (tomorrow as it happens), what I really wanted was to be fit 'n forty, rather than fat 'n forty.

So as the year drifted on, I gymmed like a crazy beast. Around September, I totted up the number of sessions I'd done, and things were not going to plan. I'd only done 4 gym sessions in August, so if I was to hit my target, I would really have to ramp up the visits.  So since September I have been going 4 times a week. But that's still not enough.

Have you ever wondered what kind of dick goes to the gym on Christmas Eve? Well, that will be dicks like me who said they were going to go 150 times, and are too stubborn not to. To hit my target, I have to go 19 times in December. Have done 5 so far. Wish me luck.

So has all this effort been worth it? Well, I am about 10lb lighter and considerably more muscly than I started. But since I am short, that just leaves me looking like a Sontaran in a wig, which - as any Doctor Who fan will tell you - is not a good look.

But over all, my year as a gymoholic has been a good one, because

• I have better concentration, especially since my mind wandered in a BodyCombat class and I punched myself in the face
• I have learnt that it is OK to feel smug if you can do more exercise than the person standing next to you. Especially if that person is younger, thinner and prettier than you.
• I can't listen to any music with a heavy beat without doing backwards lunges. Makes parties tricky but is a good conversation starter.
• I have observed that being a gym instructor is a funny old profession, where you can get away with using words like Awesome! Mental! and Kill Him! and no-one will call the police.
• Thanks to BodyCombat, I have highly developed skills in kicking imaginary adversaries. If anybody invisible tries to mug me, I can deck their lights out, no problem.
• Unfortunately, so can my children, since I made the mistake of showing them my Power Ranger moves.

So if you are thinking of joining a gym, the best advice I can give you is to try as many different classes as possible. Some of them are really quite stupid, and if you can have a laugh when you're exercising it'll keep you coming back for more.

Driven By New Year Intentions

You know, perhaps the best thing to do with these pesky New Year resolutions is to scrap them altogether.  Who 'resolves' to do things these days anyway? (I resolve to answer my emails...I resolve to go to the pub...Here I am resolving not to faff about on Facebook all day..) Maybe in the 1800s, but time and language moves on.

So let's replace these outmoded resolutions with some sparkling New Year Intentions.  Saying 'I intend to do..' something feels a lot like something that's actually going to get done, doesn't it?

This time last year, my intention was to kick my 7 year driving phobia into touch once and for all.  Having a random fear is all very good for striking up conversation at parties, but after a while it does become kind of boring.  You know the woman who drove at 10mph on the motorway?  I dreamed of being able to do that. Come to think of it, perhaps it's better that I didn't.

So last January I booked driving lessons, gritted my teeth and got out there.  Now, I would say I am about 60-70% of the way there when it comes to driving confidence (on good days I will even permit the children to speak whilst we are on the road).  My intention is to get that up to 100% by the end of this year, and I will know that I've got there when I'm driving happily along some as yet undetermined motorway, with the radio on.  Hopefully at slightly more than 10mph.

So what do you intend to do with 2008?  And what does 2008 intend to do with you?