Joanne Mallon's Opposable Thumbs

Guest post: 4 easy ways to deal with procrastination

When I am coaching freelancers, there's one issue that pops up more than any other - procrastination.

Everybody thinks they waste too much time.

Everybody thinks that other people must be far more in control of their time.

Everybody thinks it's only them who has big chunks of the day fall into a black hole consisting of looking at pictures of strangers on Facebook and arguing with that guy about that thing on Twitter.

So, procrastination. I think it's a diease we've all got to one degree or another. My theory on this (which you can read more about here) is that it's part of the dance we do, and as long as you're still getting your work done then in some cases it can even be beneficial.

But what if getting distracted is stopping you from doing stuff you need to do? What if your to-do list has its own postal code?

Here are some expert tips to help from Grace Marshall, author of 21 Ways to Manage the Stuff That Sucks Up Your Time:

"I sit down to write and turn on the computer.

I check my emails first. Someone’s mentioned me on Twitter. Reply to that. Wow, that’s a fantastic quotation. Share that on my Facebook page. Fantastic, some feedback on my last post. Thank them and answer questions.

Back to writing. Get my notes out.

There’s a reminder here to introduce a networking contact to my Web designer. That’s easy; they’re both on LinkedIn. While I’m there I’ll add my new contacts. Five a day. It’s all about regular and consistent action, right?

Done. Where was I? Ah yes, writing. But my tea’s gone cold. Better make a new one. Tidy kitchen counter while I’m there. There’s that receipt I was looking for. File it before I lose it again.

Back to the desk, hot cup of tea in hand. Oh look, an email. Fantastic, I've been waiting for him to get back to me. Now where’s that file I need to send him?"

- excerpt from 21 Ways to Manage the Stuff That Sucks Up Your Time

 

Grace says:

In this day and age, distractions are rife, but they seem all the more irresistible when you’re putting something off.

Is procrastination putting your distractions on steroids? Here are four quick tips to help you  get them under control:

 

1. Ask yourself: what’s the point?

First of all - what are you trying to achieve here. What’s your purpose? What matters most? True motivation comes from knowing why something matters to you, not why you think you ‘should’ be doing it.

If there is no point, and you can get away with not doing it, I suggest you take great pleasure in crossing it off your list.

Or if the point is that you can’t get away from it, i.e. “bad things happen if I don’t”, then you might as well get it out of the way and stop it from sucking up more of your time, energy and mental space.

The point is, choose where you want to spend your time instead of reacting to whoever or whatever happens to be shouting the loudest.

 

2. Unplug from distractions

Every time we turn our attention from one thing to another, it takes time to refocus. Re-read the last paragraph you’ve written. Revisit your notes. Get back into the right headspace. This takes time.

Give yourself periods of unplugged time - turn off your emails, Facebook and anything else that pings or pops up. Tell Twitter you’ll be back in an hour. Divert your phone to voicemail. Close the door. You’ll be amazed at how much you can get done in just an hour of uninterrupted time, compared to a day of flitting from one thing to another.

 

3. Make it easier

Baby steps can overcome overwhelm, bypass procrastination, sneak past fear and self-doubt and still move mountains. Writing one page or chapter, or even writing for 20 minutes, is infinitely more doable than staring at “Write book” on your to-do list every morning.

Instead of one big project or one mammoth task, how can you break it up into easier, more doable chunks? What would your baby steps be?

 

4. Sweeten the deal

As Mary Poppins said, “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”

Get creative. Just as we turn things into a game, race, or competition to encourage our children to do something, how can you do it differently to make it more fun?

For example:

• Do it with company - the kind of company that will hold you accountable, race you to the finish line or simply take the boredom out of it.

• Change the scenery - do it somewhere different or get some upbeat music playing. I know a couple of directors who combined their business plan meeting with a walk through the woods.

• Turn your distractions into rewards. Get the article written, then go on twitter and celebrate. You’ll have much more fun knowing it’s done, free from that nagging guilt of “I should be doing...”

 

You can find more tips like this in Grace’s new book 21 Ways to Manage the Stuff That Sucks Up Your Time, a book designed to help you gain more time for the important things in your life, without sucking up your time to do so!

 

main image credit: Ghetu Daniel

Do you procrastinate? What are your biggest time suckers? Fess up in the comments box (this will count as professional development and not procrastinating at all).

An Apology

Have just about recovered from the House of Mouse.  Though I do still retain a smidgeon of bad feeling about one particular incident.  As you know, I don't do guilt.  But if I did, I think this is what it would feel like.

To put things in context:  I don't think the garment exists that suits everyone from a 6 month old baby to a 40 year old man.

But if it does, it sure as hell ain't a bright red sweatshirt with Micky Mouse on the front.  So, to the family dressed in identical Disney duds - I am very sorry that I laughed out loud at you.  I was so shocked I couldn't stop myself. 

It's a really important central tenet of coaching that the coach is non-judgemental.  So the client can say whatever they like, secure in the knowledge that they won't be found wanting because of it.  And when you start coaching, this non-judgemental attitude can be an odd mantle to put on.  We are so used to judging others, it feels kind of strange not to.  But it's also very freeing because you can then support people for who they are instead of putting them down because of it.

In any case, judging a person doesn't define them.  It just says more about the person doing the judging.  Judging others lets you off the hook when it comes to examining your own actions.

And it's not as if I'm some kind of sartorial expert.  I wear the same clothes all year round, with the result that I am always slightly too hot or slightly too cold.  (Apart from one afternoon in May, when the temperature's just right)  Maybe a nice Mickey Mouse sweatshirt would sort me out.  Whaddya think?

Happy Guilt-Free Mothers Day

Look what I found between the sofa cushions - an extra day.  Where did that come from?

Did you see Sandra Parsons' column in The Times yesterday?  She's certainly spot on to note that the more Middle England the child, the more they view a trip to McDonald's as an immeasurable treat.

However, one sentence made me pull the face.

One of the things you learn in personal development, is that if a client talks about 'you' doing or feeling something, what they really mean is 'I'.  So if someone says "You know when you do X and you feel a bit Y", they are really talking about their own feelings.  But it helps to mentally distance these things, because then you can blame it on somebody else and avoid taking responsibility for your own feelings.

So when Sandra Parsons writes about working mothers:  "You feel feel permanent guilt at not being a good enough mother", although it reads like an attempt to tar the lot of us with the same brush, it's really the writer's own feelings about her own life coming through. 

Regular readers will know that this blog is a parental guilt-free zone.  My children were not born with a free package of guilt, and I resist any attempts to palm one off on me. I don't feel guilty about any aspect of working and parenting.  I'm doing the best I can.  When I go wrong I aim to do better.  Why feel guilty about that?

The part I do think Parsons gets right is about our lives being out of control.  But then that's true for anybody, whether you're a parent or not.  Absolutely nobody is in 100% control of their life.  This is why perfectionism rarely works - life, with its regular curveballs, will always change your plans.

It doesn't do working mothers any favours at all to promote the myth that we must all feel guilty that we're somehow not good enough.  And sometimes it feels positively radical to say that you (of course I mean I) will have no part in keeping the guilty myth going.  Even with an extra day, life's too short for that.

Working Mums - By Your Chubby Kids We Shall Know Thee

More parenting bollox in the news to try and trip up those of us doing the working mother mambo.

As reported by BBC News, a study from the Institute of Child Health claims that children of working mothers are more likely to be obese.  So add that to your list of stuff to feel guilty about - then burn it.

The study's researchers are reported as saying: "Long hours of maternal employment, rather than lack of money, may impede young children's access to healthy foods and physical activity.  For example, parental time constraints could increase a child's consumption of snack foods and/or increase television use."

Note the use of vague, wobbly language in that quote - mothers working long hours "may" stop their children having healthy food and "could" lead to increased snacking & TV watching.  Not that they definitely do, just that they might have an effect.  Just as paternal working hours, location, other priorities and the man in the moon may also have an effect. 

This study appears to take a very all or nothing approach, contrasting the full time working mum (she bad, she eat chips and watch TV) with the stay at home mum (she good, she make nice food).  But what about the increasing numbers of women who adopt a mix and match variation of this - the part-timers, the flexible-shifters, the self-employed?  The trouble with these sorts of surveys is that they tar all working women with the same brush, even when you've done your best to find a working pattern that also gives you time with your kids.

The Kellogg's Family Health Study (of which I'm a panel member) showed that parents are their children's greatest role models.  So if you have a generally healthy and positive attitude to food and exercise, then your kids are likely to adopt this also.

There probably are some good lessons to be learned from this study - it's quite an indictment of the UK's culture of presenteeism and long working hours.  I hope it doesn't become another stick to beat working mothers with, though I suspect it will.  The Daily Mail are probably raising their cudgels with glee already.

Down With Guilt - The Campaign Continues

Yesterday I wrote about guilt being the number one energy-sapper for mothers.  According to today's Guardian, actress Jessica Hynes agrees. 

Speaking to Gareth McLean, Jessica says: "There seems to be an epidemic of guilt among mothers. It's not about anything in particular but you just feel guilty. I've made a conscious decision to give all that up because it seemed to really cloud my experience of motherhood. I've given up on guilt like I gave up smoking. It's totally unhealthy, completely counter-productive, has no nutritional value whatsoever and I really don't enjoy it. Guilt is obstructive to love."  Read the full article here. 

Hooray for Jessica Hynes and her words of truth and wisdom.

Today, stick your nose in the air whilst you squish guilt into the carpet where it belongs.