Joanne Mallon's Opposable Thumbs

Fit for life, that's the theory

So Charlie Brooker has come out.

As a runner.

From the tone of his confession, I think he would have been less embarrassed to have come out as a horse murderer, sperm stealer or Tory politician.

It sounds like he used the Couch to 5K program (or a version of it) which is particularly impressive given that although this program starts off very gently, it then ramps up considerably at around week 4. At least that's the point at which I've always had to abandon it.

This year I've had to get my head round the fact that at 42 I'm often the oldest person in my gym classes by quite some way. The flip side to this is that when the 20-somethings peg out and I keep going, it feels like a mini-victory. I think this must be why so many people around my age take up running or cycling- it's a gym class of one, where you are always the youngest and fittest.

This weekend A Child spat me a gobbet of pre-teen angst: You care more about going to the gym than you do about me! because I had the audacity to go to a Sunday afternoon BodyCombat class. Right now I'm going to lots of gym classes because my annual gym challenge is in its final phase and I need to do about 30 more classes to hit my target of 150 for the year. Easier said than done. So why bother?

• I would like to be healthy and alive for as long as possible 
• The older I get, the more of a challenge that is
• I want to show my children that activity isn't somthing that stops when the bell rings at the end of P.E. class
• It keeps me calm and (slightly) less likely to shout at people
• I get my best ideas when I'm exercising. (Admittedly, going to the gym tends to squeeze out the time to execute these ideas, but that'll all change once my campaign to legalise 30 hour days gets going).

So all in all I think I go to the gym because I care about my children, not instead of. Now, how can I get them to believe that?

 image credit: kevin dooley

New Year Resolutions for Freelancers

So 2010 is off the starting blocks, and next week we will be welcoming Blue Monday. More than just a New Order song or the day to dig out your favourite pornos, it's the Most Miserable Day of the Year - Official!

But the good thing is that once you've got Day of Doom out of the way, it's all uphill from there.

So how can a good freelancer make the most of the coming year? Whilst I'm not keen on resolutions ('cos they have a habit of not happening), intentions are a whole other box of frogs. Saying you intend to do something immediately makes it more focused and likely to happen.

Here are some possible New Year Intentions the freelancers amongst you might want to try on for size:

• More pitching
  Be specific about this if you're really intending to do it - how much more? When will you do it?
• Pitch to at least one new market/publication every month
  This will need to be preceeded by identifying and researching said new market before you pitch. Again, get clear on the hows, whens and wherefores if you're intending to do this.
• Identify at least one new subject area you can write about
  It's good to specialise but not to stand still. What's related to your current subjects and could be a possible marketplace for you?
• Pimp Your Workstation
  If you work from home, you only have yourself to blame if the place you work from isn't how you'd like it to be. Take half an hour to lovelyfy it. Or at least dump the dusty junk - very satisfying.
• Make a plan for the downtimes
  Freelancing never goes in a straight line, so some weeks will be busier than others. This is normal and not because you are crap at what you do. Make a list in the back of your diary of at least 10 things you'd do, if you only had the time. So the next time there's tumbleweed blowing across your desk, you know where to go for inspiration.
• Get out more
  Take up at least one interest that's not work related. Give your mind the shock of the new. You'll be glad you did.

I'm not sure what my 2010 intentions are going to be. Over all, it's be Be Zen in 2010. But the only practical way I can think of to approach that is to expand out the gym challenge and ramp up the cultural element. Many, many people have asked if I will pass the gym challenge on to them, but I have beaten them off with a big stick and a snarl like Gollum's. So I'm toying with: Seeing 50 movies, reading 20 books and doing 150 gym sessions. That'll do for starters.

What are you intending to do in 2010? If it's Leave More Comments, you've come to the right place:

Curse of the Abominable Snowperson

I really only have myself to blame. When I glibly said that nothing but a broken leg would come between me and the completion of my gym challenge, that was clearly asking for trouble.

I live on a very steep hill in Brighton. So steep, in fact, that a midwife once told me that walking up our street would provide quite a comprehensive pelvic floor workout. I don't quite know what she meant, but you get my drift. And indeed it started with a drift, as last Friday we were treated to a badass hunk of snow piled up on our doorstep.

Now, snow I like. You can jump in it and throw it about and (if you have that kind of mind) use it to make piss flowers.

But the snow soon turned to ice, and our street became one big hill of glass. I ventured out a few times, scaling the street by clinging on to the front of houses and drainpipes. But trips any further were too hazardous. So not so much a broken leg, but the threat of one, scuppered my plans. Though I did make it out to the gym last night, and was treated to the marvellous sight of a man running on the treadmill whilst simultaneously doing Jazz Hands. There's an outside chance I'll hit my target, but it seems unlikely now, so no more predictions from me.

I Dreamed a Dream

I came across a coach this week who wasn't sure how to handle a client who dreamed of becoming a writer for the NME. She felt that this was an unrealistic goal. My response was: Why is that unrealistic? The next generation of NME writers has to come from somewhere, why shouldn't it be this particular person? I specialise in coaching people in media, so I often see former clients in the paper or on TV, living their big dreams. Because really, big dreams only stay dreams if you don't back them up with any action.

I feel it's vital for a coach not to judge what a person's dream might be. Instead, help them take the practical steps and say "OK, how are you going to make this happen?". You've got the rest of the world to dampen your enthusiasm, you might as well rely on a coach to believe that you can do it. In times like these, when many are in the gutter, it helps if at least one person is looking at the stars.

I think it's true to say that, in some quarters, coaches have got a bit of a reputation of being airy dream-mongers. So maybe it's good that some coaches will take a view on how practical a client's goal is. As I am at heart a very practical person, though also an airy dream-monger, this is how I approach it when a client has a particuarly earth shattering dream:

• Establish the essence of the dream
  A person who says they have a particular dream, doesn't always want that exact thing. Sometimes it's not so much that a person wants a Ferrari, but that they want whatever that represents to them (freedom, escape etc). Once you've established what this essential quality is, then you can look for easier ways to get that into their life straight away, without having to save up for the big red car.
• What's the ecology of the situation?
  What else is going on in their life that this goal impacts on? How much time and other resources does the client have to bring to reaching their goal. Who else is affected by this? For some people, without dependants or debts, a goal of jacking in their job and travelling the world is entirely achievable. For others it might take a leetle bit more arranging.
• What will they do to start the ball rolling?
  Not what should you do, or what might you do, but what will you do, starting this week. You don't need a map of the whole journey, just take a first step and the next will follow. If a client starts squirming or making excuses at this point, then we retreat a little and look at what is really going on.

What do you think? Does a coach have a responsibility to support a client's goal, no matter what? Should we say anything if it all feels a bit far fetched?

Spring Forward

Crikey, it's April already - how did that happen?  Got distracted by some Lidl ludicrousness, and the next thing you know the daffodils are up. 

So 2008 is already one quarter down.  How's it going for you so far?

Every month this year I have been writing down goals I'm aiming for in that month.  It's useful, but because everyone gets motivated differently, you have to play around with the wording to find the version that works for you.  For some reason, aiming to go to the gym 3 times a week just doesn't do it for me, but when I aim to go 12 times a month, somehow it happens.  Why is that?  The numbers and results are basically the same.

I am a great believer in the power of writing things down as a trigger to make them happen.  Just that little step of taking the idea out of your head and on to the page often seems to be enough to tip it into reality.

If you have been coached by me, you will be familiar with The Big Form I give you to fill in before the first coaching session.  I am thinking of renaming it The Magic Form, because it does seem to have powers beyond what's legally decent for a simple piece of paper. 

On the back page clients fill in the things they'd like to achieve in the next few months.  Over the next few months we tend to look back over the form to see how things are going.  Sometimes people will change their goals, and discover that the things they wanted aren't what they thought they were in the first place anyway.

But the amazing part of it is how often people do get exactly what they asked for.  So many times, the client and I have gone back over the form and been able to tick off that yes, they did get exactly what they wanted.

So if there's something you want to happen this year, write it down.  Don't write it down then lose it.  Write it and look back on it regularly:  check your progress, change what you need to.  These questions will help:

• What are you currently doing that you want to keep doing? (both in work and personal life)
• What are you currently doing that you don't want to continue with long term? 
• When will you stop this?
• What would an ideal working week/month look like to you? (Maybe make a diary of it)
• What are you not currently doing that you would like to?
• What needs to change to make that happen?
• What can you personally do to affect this? 
• When will you do that? (Recognising the bits you can't affect might help you avoid putting too much energy into them)

Driven By New Year Intentions

You know, perhaps the best thing to do with these pesky New Year resolutions is to scrap them altogether.  Who 'resolves' to do things these days anyway? (I resolve to answer my emails...I resolve to go to the pub...Here I am resolving not to faff about on Facebook all day..) Maybe in the 1800s, but time and language moves on.

So let's replace these outmoded resolutions with some sparkling New Year Intentions.  Saying 'I intend to do..' something feels a lot like something that's actually going to get done, doesn't it?

This time last year, my intention was to kick my 7 year driving phobia into touch once and for all.  Having a random fear is all very good for striking up conversation at parties, but after a while it does become kind of boring.  You know the woman who drove at 10mph on the motorway?  I dreamed of being able to do that. Come to think of it, perhaps it's better that I didn't.

So last January I booked driving lessons, gritted my teeth and got out there.  Now, I would say I am about 60-70% of the way there when it comes to driving confidence (on good days I will even permit the children to speak whilst we are on the road).  My intention is to get that up to 100% by the end of this year, and I will know that I've got there when I'm driving happily along some as yet undetermined motorway, with the radio on.  Hopefully at slightly more than 10mph.

So what do you intend to do with 2008?  And what does 2008 intend to do with you?

New Year Resolutions - A Fresh Chance

Doncha just love it when a survey confims what you already suspected?  So thank you Professor Richard Wiseman and team at the University of Hertfordshire for your study which confirms that, for New Year Resolutions to work, it helps to

a)  Make them specific

b) Tell as many people as possible what you intend to do

Below is my extended version of this distilled wisdom.

10 tips for sticking to your New Year's Resolutions

1. Make specific goals.  In business-speak, goals should be SMART, ie Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic and Time framed.  Trying to reach a vague goal is like trying to wrestle a jelly.  So instead of saying 'I will lose weight', go for something like "I will lose 5 lb by the 1st February 2008".

2. Write it down - taking your resolution out of your head and on to the page is the next step in making it a reality.  Writing out potential action plans and due dates makes the goal even more powerful.  Get some Post-its and stick your goals in places you'll see them every day.  When you set a time frame, write it down in your diary (following the example above, write what your weight will be when you've lost 5lb on 1st February page)

3. Get someone to keep track.  Make yourself as accountable to as many people as you can.  Tell everyone you know what you're going to do.  People who love you will want to support you.  A life coach will help you to keep on track when the going gets tough because they’re trained in helping people like you achieve their goals.  For more info on coaching check out this page.

4. Book a reward.  Celebrate your achievements and reward yourself for the action you take, rather than focusing on all you still have to do.  Every effort deserves a pat on the back.  Book something great like a facial or a massage or a night out for you to look forward to after your 1st month of effort.  In doing so you'll be sending a big message to your subconscious that you are going to succeed.

5. Imagine life if you didn't stick to your resolutions.  Think ahead to this time next year and imagine what your life would be like if you didn't change at all.  What if you were still like this in 5 years time?  Pretty scary, eh?  Now think about how life could be if you made the changes you want to.  The difference between these two pictures will be a big motivation.

6. Really think about the resolutions and why you're making them.  We've all woken up with a hangover on the 1st January and vowed never to drink, smoke, eat or snog unsuitable men ever again.  Are you making your resolutions for your own reasons or for other people's?  You've more chance of succeeding with 3 changes you really want to make than with 10 you're not that bothered about.  If you're not really excited about your resolutions why are you making them?

7. Think about previous resolutions - why did you keep them, what helped or hindered you?  Review your goals regularly throughout the year - give yourself permission to change your resolutions based on changing circumstances

8. Don't attempt to totally reinvent yourself in a week - gradual changes are more likely to stick.  You did not get this way overnight, you will not change in a day either.  Aim for 1 small change a week.  For example, it's unrealistic to think that you'll go from being a gym hater to attending 3 times a week.  So start small with maybe once a week doing an activity you find exciting.

9. Prioritise - if you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

10. Take action as soon as possible to achieve your goal.  Think of what the easiest step would be to achieve your goal and just do it.

And finally, as 2008 comes so close we have to embrace it.....

Athbhliain faoi Mhaise Daoibh

That's Happy New Year in Irish for you.  Try saying that when you've had a few.

Getting Organised: The To Don't List

Have you ever written a To Do list that was so vast and daunting in its scale that you felt like going straight back to bed and staying there for the rest of the year?

Every Sunday night I write a list of the things I need to do for the next week.  This week's was particularly epic.  It had loops and arches and tasks both interconnected and disparate - places to be, stuff to take, things to remember - usually at opposite ends of the city at the same time.

Lists aren't for everybody:  in NLP terms, they work if you're a visual person, because you can see what you've written down.  They can also work if you're a kinaesthetic (touchy/feely) person because the physical act of writing stuff down will help ensure that you remember it.  But if you're an aural person, who needs to hear stuff, then a list probably won't do it for you (unless of course you get someone to read it out to you).  So if you're a listmaker who still can't get anything done, just remember it's not you, it's your communication style.

So now I am experimenting with a 'To Don't' List of things I don't intend to do.  Should go nicely with my Christmas Unlist, of gifts I don't want to receive (I know that sounds a bit ungrateful, but trust me, there's a lot of fun to be had from spotting something grim and announcing that it's going on the Unlist).

And now this week's To Don't list looks like this:

Don't Panic - whatever needs to get done will get done.  Most probably by you, or a small person if you give them 50p.

Much more achievable.

To Don't Lists - it's the future I tell ya.   

Something Spooky This Way Comes

A few days ago I wrote about the spooky way in which things seem more likely to happen when you write them down.  Now it seems like you don't even have to write them down, just saying out loud what you want is sometimes enough to get things moving too.

One of my clients was unhappy at work.  I asked her what it would take to make work enjoyable again.  Her reply was simple - Person A and Person B were getting monumentally on her wick and she would like them to leave.

Normally coaching is very much centred on personal responsibility - what can I do to change the situation?  If someone else is pushing my buttons, that can only happen if I already have those buttons in the first place.  So we moved away from the failings of persons A and B and looked at what the client could do that might improve the situation.

At the next session, the client called up in excitement.  Person A had resigned from their job and B had been moved to another team.  Work was transformed and she was happy again.  She's got what she asked for, even though it had seemed a very unlikely thing to happen.

I was reminded of this at the weekend whilst coaching teenagers at BAFTA for TVYP.  About 90% of them wanted to be TV presenters.  I admired their enthusiasm and optimism but I wasn't going to hold my breath waiting for them to turn up on the box.  After all, jobs like that virtually never come along, do they?

And then the next day, an email popped into my inbox from a former client.  She was now working at a TV station which was looking for new presenters - did I know any students with no TV experience who might like to try out?

Just when you think you know what to expect from life, the universe goes and hits you with a big Wow.  Some people call it the power of attraction, not sure what I'd call it, but I'm keeping an eye on the magical goal-setting pixies as they do like to surprise us all from time to time.

Write it down - make it so

There is a famous study from Yale University which is often cited by motivational speakers. The story goes that, of the Yale class of 1953, 3% were found to have written down goals for the future. Twenty years later, those 3% were found to have accumulated more wealth than the other 97% of the class combined. Compelling evidence that writing down your goals works.

Except that there's no evidence at all - the whole thing is an urban myth and the study never actually happened. Don't you just hate it when the facts get in the way of a good story? 

The funny thing is though, that over the years of coaching clients, I have found that writing down what you want to happen does seem to make a huge difference to what happens in your life. Maybe it's the fact that you can get more clarity on an issue when you take it out of your head and look at it on paper. Maybe it's that writing things down is enough of a tiny action to inspire you into taking bigger action which leads to change. Maybe it's the magic goal-setting pixies at work. I don't know.

All I know is that it works, so if there's something you want to achieve in your life, start by writing it down and see what you can make happen.