Joanne the Coach

How to get your garden ready for Spring

My office is next to the garden, and at this time of year I like to nip out and check if the cherry tree has survived the winter. Here it is today and if you look closely you can see little buds which are starting to grow and will eventually become leaves, flowers and maybe even a few cherries. It's like a newborn baby, it changes every day.

 

And below you can see my garden helper - Dennis the infamously grumpy cat. Yes I know he's a handsome beast, but generally his only contribution to the garden involves stalking birds and using the lawn as a loo.

 

Hopefully your family are a bit more helpful in the garden. And here's some advice from  Sarah Oxley from Tiger Sheds on getting the family involved in preparing the garden:

 

 

Spring Time Is Garden Time

Spring is here. Well, I think spring is here, although my iPhone did claim that it would snow this Sunday, and although it didn’t, it did hail on Saturday for about ten minutes. Does that count as anti-spring weather? No idea, so I will go with ‘No’.

So, spring is here, and as such it’s time to do some garden chores and get it all ready for spring. The grass will need tending to, and your flower beds will need weeding. At the moment, you’re thinking how absolutely uninspiring this sounds, but it could be real good fun. If you do it together, as a family! Yes, that’s right get your kids involved, teach them how to plant flowers and sow seeds and encourage their inner gardener. I’m expecting all of you to unlock your garden sheds and get out the tools and start the gardening fun.

The Grass
Your grass doesn’t need cutting yet (unless you completely neglected it last year, then it does), but you can:
• Remove any rotting leaves or thatch
• Rake away any moss (This is a good one for the kids, as they have permission to destroy the moss)
• Reseed where the moss has caused damages (This is another good task for the kids. Be sure that the bag of seed isn’t too heavy for them, and that they don’t pile a ton of seeds in one spot. An even distribution is what you’re after)

The Flower Beds
• Weed the flower beds (A good task to do together as you can teach your children the difference between plant and weed)
• Remove rotting leaves, twigs, thatch and stones from the bed
• Purchase some small spring plants that are in bloom such as Primroses or Pansies, and plant them in the flower beds (This is good as a team effort of digging the hole for the plant, placing it gently in, covering it up with soil and watering it. The main attraction here is the necessity to get your hands dirty)

Create A Vegetable Patch
Getting your children to eat their vegetables can be a bit of a challenge. My Mum had no end of trouble with me, but none at all with my brother. For encouragement, it can help to eat self-grown vegetables. There’s a sense of achievement and pride when the vegetables are fully grown and ready to eat, which can make them more appetizing. The operative word here is ‘can’. To create your own patch:
• Corner off a section in the garden (something between 2x3 or 2x1 metres), and dig up the grass
• Plough some small rows and plant some carrots, French climbing beans or lettuce
• Mark your rows to keep an eye on what is growing where
• Encourage regularly checks and plenty of water

Whatever, you decide to do in the garden this spring, make sure you do it together.

This guest post was sponsored by Tiger Sheds, manufacturers of garden and potting sheds.

What not to buy for Christmas

This weekend the papers were full of gift guides and advice on what to get for the people you love (and your family) for Christmas.

Nobody advises you on what not to buy.

This I can help with, as I generally prepare an 'un-list' of things I don't want.

Here's this year's top 5. Nobody buy me any of this crap:

Angry Birds child costume
Nothing says Throw me across the room like an Angry Birds costume. This is a trip to A & E and a visit from Social Services just waiting to happen.

 A Christmas Turd
Look, I appreciate the thought, but I can probably save you the £3.99 and make one of these for myself. Don't tell the craft bloggers about it, it could spark a craze for a whole new kind of home made Christmas gift.

 

Gassy Gus 
And whilst we're in the lavatory, let's pause to admire the game that puts new meaning into the phrase Top Trumps. Yes, it's the farting board game. The family that pumps together stays together - they have to really, no one else will give them house room.

 

Christmas pudding bin bags
Well OBVIOUSLY it's important to have your garbage looking appropriate to the season - this is why I shape my bin bags into hearts at Valentine's, and into the face of the devil at Halloween. But I think the bin men would rather have the tenner, than the chance to hoick a wannabe plum pudding on their truck. Clearly designed for in-law murdering serial killers who need to dispose of the evidence. Joy to the world!

 

Handerpants
They're gloves! They look like pants! Sell it to me, Pants Man:

 Er, no thanks

Have you spotted anything less desirable than this lot? What else needs to go on the un-list?

21st Century Birthing Partner

You know you are a 21st century birthing partner when the birthee starts having contractions and you panic because you haven't blogged about it yet

My friend Mash has asked me to be her birth partner when she has her first child. What a privilege to be there at the start of a new life and even better, not to have to be the one giving birth yourself. Double points!

But even though it wasn't that long ago since I had my own children, so much has changed. Now birth partners have to consider: 

• Should I live tweet the birth or not?
  Whilst I am on Twitter, Mash is not, so perhaps this is best avoided. Well, OK I might sneak in a few cheeky ones. Stephen Fry might want to know. That reminds me, I must remember to take my nose out of my iPhone at least once so I don't miss the birth.
• Who gets to put the first pics of the baby on Facebook?
  I am sure there is an etiquette about this which I am bound to get wrong.
• Is there a Flickr stream for the baby pics?
  Or would Tumblr or Pinterest be better? If I take a picture using Hipstamatic, is that like an insult to the baby by implying that it needs 1960's soft focus to look better? Hey kid, it takes ten years off you - one day you'll be glad of that.
• Is my Kindle locked and loaded?
  I have a few light thrillers on there in case we're in for a wait. Just spies and detectives, nothing at all about monsters bursting out of people's bellies.
• Does the hospital have wifi?
  The website gives no clues. Might have to lurk outside with the smokers. Or - gasp! - do without.
• Can I even find the hospital?
  I dowloaded a free satnav app, but that just tried to send me the wrong way down a one way street. Might have to use Ye Olde Road Map. Or get a taxi.

So much to consider! I'm so excited. Have I missed anything?

 image credit: Victor Bezrukov

Social media for journalists: Part three - Getting work, getting paid and wasting time

And now the end of my presentation is near. How did I ever hope to cram this lot into 30 minutes and take questions as well? Daftoid. At least you know when you book me you get your money's worth.

Anyway, make sure you read part one of social media for journalists, which is an introduction to Twitter. And part two is all about LinkedIn and Facebook and some cool forums that'll help you get writing work.

Here in part three we're looking at what kind of social media work is available for journalists, what you might expect to get paid and how not to let all this stuff suck up more time than it's worth.

Social media work for journalists

• This could be tweeting or blogging on behalf of a client
  Essentially, it's the new copywriting, and much more dynamic than the old stuff. Could be worth suggesting to clients you've already written web copy for.
• Charge for time rather than per word
  Per word, the rates start to look pretty poor, so when quoting think in terms of what the client wants and how long that'll take you. Also take into consideration how much regular work can be guaranteed - £50 per 350 word blog post isn't great, but if you can finish it in under an hour and do 10 a week, it all adds up.
• An hour a day can add up to a lot more
  Typically, you might be asked to look after a Twitter feed for an hour a day, but any job which extends across the week will inevitably take up more mental space than that. Be realistic about what you commit to, and how that fits in with the other work you're doing.
• Other journos are charging from £300/day, or from £25/hour for social media work
  I did a mini survey and these figures were mentioned most commonly. So as a guide, you're thinking in terms of your copywriting daily rate.
• Clients may wish to pay a lot less!
  This is a brand new area of work, so the 'going rate' is still under negotiation. There will be clients who do not recognise that this is a skilled job for a writer and will expect to pay you in buttons. Whether or not you take those buttons is up to you, but remember that part of progressing as a writer is, on occasion, turning work down.

 

What's in your handbag, BritMums?

Being an unashamedly nosy bugger, I really like the BritMums project, What's in Your Handbag?  So after nebbing in to lots of other people's portmanteaus, it feels only fair to let you into mine.

I have a new bag. It's a Matt & Nat Lily vegan handbag in orange which I bought in the sale from Javari:

 

I think it must be made with Time Lord science as it has turned out to be surprisingly capacious. Here's what's in it today:

 

Name: Joanne

Number of children: 2

Blog: www.JoannetheCoach.com

Date photo taken: 23/08/11

Items from left to right, clockwise: Stickers for when I have been good; notebook for noting down all the dirt on mummy bloggers, for my novel; box of business cards; Monkey World souvenir pen; sherbet dip dab ; a fez; a child; sonic screwdriver

You can see more like this at the What's In Your Handbag? site

 

Writer's woes

So that writing two books business, how's that going Joanne?

Actually, not so great. Have you ever tried to eat two elephants? That's what it's like. Or giving birth to two babies (I don't mean like twins. At least twins have the decency to queue, not both rush the exit at once).

And I didn't help myself at all by being so overwhelmed by the task in hand that that I achieved very little for weeks on end. Writing a book seems so much more permanent, and by implication important, than the online writing I've done.

But that's not even true - many more people have access to work that's published online than will ever pick up a book and read it. But still, it felt like A Bigger Deal than anything I'd done before, so I panicked a bit and hid my head in the sand. For most of May.

Finding work as a journalist - how to help work find you

 

Two years ago on this blog I looked at the various job listings sites for journalists, and how effective they are. And since then, as my business has shifted more towards journalism than coaching, I thought it might be good to revisit the best of those sites and see once again if they work. Only this time I'm playing for real.

LinkedIn seems to have been around for a donkey's age. With around 4 million users in the UK, even if you're not a member, you must have had a bucketful of those "So and so wants to connect with you on LinkedIn" emails. I've had a semi-completed profile for a few years, but never paid much attention to it. But something has been changing, since I keep hearing about people getting writing work via LinkedIn, much as work for writers is beginning to be found via Twitter. So I decided to hop back on that donkey to see where it will take me.

The main tip I picked up when researching LinkedIn is that being at least a little active on the site, and having a complete profile, are the most important elements in helping recruiters find you. One of the things I had to do to complete my profile was to ask people who've worked with me for recommendations. It was pretty excruciating to do, but surprisingly, once I'd asked, some really lovely testimonials came forth. So if you're wondering what I'm like to work with as a journalist, you can find out here. I haven't asked my current colleague, Dennis the Cat, for a recommendation because I know he would only whine on about the lack of Iams in the office and the way my singing disturbs his naps.

One benefit of LinkedIn is that it ranks fairly highly on search engines, so if you haven't got a website yet, it's a good way to quickly and easily get yourself online. After all, nobody's likely to hire you if they can't find you.

The other thing I've done is take out a freelance listing at Journalism.co.uk This costs £50 for a year, so in theory it should only take one commission to cover the cost, though like any of these sites it's a gamble from which you may not see any return. Here is my listing which is much more pared down than LinkedIn, but I think it gets the essential information across. I'm not naive enough to think that simply registering with these sites will be enough to open the doors to an avalanche of work. But whatever the outcome is, I'll let you know.

What has your experience been of listings sites like these?

pic: Flickr, mariosundar

An Organised Desk is...

...clearly the sign of someone with too much time on their hands.

But now that we're at the desk-clearing end of the year, be inspired by these doozies. Spaces of joy, every one.

How To Have a Disorganised Christmas

OK, so you know all that stuff I told you about how to be organised at Christmas?  Well, scrub all that. 

This year, chaos is where it's at, and this is why.

Feeling Festive Yet?

Bad news for the festive season - the Police Manhunt Advent Calendar has sold out.  Boo.  You can see why it's popular - nothing says Yuletide more than a thief giving the bum's rush to two coppers and a snarling hound.

I know the eagle eyed Googlers amongst you are already on the hunt for tips on how to get organised for Christmas.  So here's your month-to-go guide, and this is the last minute checklist.  Not that we've reached the last minute stage, though it's closer than you think.