Joanne the Coach

Goth Nazi hunters a gogo

Well that was a right old stinker of an Easter Bank Holiday, wasn't it? With my family still drunk on chocolate and whipped into a frenzy by a new series of Horrible Histories, I slunk off to the cinema to see This Must Be The Place.

Whilst I enjoyed it very much, this film does come Marmite flavoured and won't be to everyone's taste. Sean Penn plays Cheyenne, retired goth rock star of Cheyenne and the Fellows (like Siouxsie and the Banshees, geddit?). He's living in Dublin but bored, punctuating his days with handball and trips to the supermarket.

Then Cheyenne's estranged dad dies. This leads to revelations about his dad's lifelong quest to find his Nazi persecutor. The film then turns into a road movie as Penn's character goes on his own Nazi-hunting trip across the USA.

And like any good road movie, he meets a selection of oddballs and has a succession of redemptive experiences. Plus he stops for a little ping pong along the way.

Sean Penn plays the lead role in a seriously weird, whispery babylady voice, now and again breaking out into a tinkly giggle. I don't think I've ever seen Penn play funny before, but there's a comic edge to this performance that he just about gets away with, silly voice and all.

So on paper it all sounds terrible, or amazing depending on your perspective - if you find the idea of Sean Penn dressed as Robert Smith going Nazi hunting across America inherently entertaining, then I think you will like this film. I thought it was great. The only let down is the ending, which I found to be a bit weak - it sort of petered out rather than came to a definite conclusion.

 

And no, the film wasn't named after the Pet Shop Boys' This Must Be The Place I Waited Years To Leave (what idiot named Joanne would think THAT?), but in fact after the superior This Must be The Place by Talking Heads.

 

Dancing in the sleet: Happy Feet 2 DVD & Blu Ray

It's always a good sign when a sequel hasn't been rushed out - it shows the film makers have taken some time to think about what people liked about the original and which parts of the story are worth continuing and developing into something new.

And so it is with Happy Feet 2, which comes out on Blu Ray and DVD this week. Since the original Happy Feet was released in 2006, musicals have leapt in popularity, so HF2 is packed with song and dance numbers. And seriously cute baby penguins.

Warner Bros sent us the DVD & Blu Ray to review, and it was a great choice because my son LOVES watery wildlife.

Junior verdict (after watching it about 6 times in 2 days): My favourite characters were Bill and Will the Krills.  I like how there are two stories - Bill and Will do their bit and the penguins do their bit too. The Blu Ray makes it look very good and the icebergs and the water look cool. I would like to be a Krill, except not one that gets eaten!

It's a little bit Penguin Glee Club, a little bit iceberg adventure. With all the leaping penguins you can tell that the original film was in 3D. As you might expect, wildlife and particularly water-based stories look amazing on Blu Ray, they really come alive.

The star voices are as plentiful as fish in the sea and include: Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Elijah Wood, and Alecia Moore AKA Pink. Keep your ears open for uncredited cameos from Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman as well.

Happy Feet Two was released on Blu Ray and DVD on 26th March, priced starting at £9 which I think is pretty good value considering the number of extras.

Also included in our penguin package from Warner Bros were the original Happy Feet, which you can pick up for a bargainous £4.49, and March of the Penguins, a wildlife classic narrated by Morgan Freeman, now down to a frankly ludicrous £2.99. This is a great one to check out if the Happy Feet films are sparking off an interest in real life aquatic animals. Not many songs in that one though.

 

Competition: Win classic Oscar winning film DVDs & Blu Rays COMPETITION CLOSED

 THIS COMPETITION HAS NOW CLOSED. DON'T LEAVE A COMMENT, IT WON'T BE COUNTED

Did I mention how much I love movies? Well I do, I really really do.

This week we received a de-lovely package from Warner Bros. They're celebrating movie awards season by re-discovering some classic award winners. We've been busy watching Gone With The Wind on Blu Ray which was marvellous, but after 4 hours of this 8 time Oscar-winning epic, I was feeling quite emotional. So (at great personal sacrifice) I am passing on the rest of the package to you to share the classic movie love.

 

THE PRIZE
One winner gets all of these Oscar winning babies!

Casablanca - Blu Ray
An all time classic, must-see film, shown here in beautiful Blu Ray. Academy Award winners Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman light up the screen in one of the most enduring romances in movie history. Rick Blaine owns a nightclub in Vichy-controlled Casablanca, frequented by refugees desperate to escape German domination. But all that changes when Ilsa Lund walks through the front door of Rick's club--Rick must now choose between a life with the woman he loves and becoming the hero that both she and the world need. I'm welling up already.

Midnight in Paris - DVD
Woody Allen's new, critically acclaimed romantic comedy featuring an all-star cast led by Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Michael Sheen and Marion Cotillard. We watched this recently and it's terrific - a real return to form for Woody Allen and a worthy winner of the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.

The Blind Side - Blu Ray
Sandra Bullock won the Best Actress Oscar for this film which depicts the remarkable true story of All-American football star Michael Oher. Teenager Michael is surviving on his own, virtually homeless, when he is spotted on the street by Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) who invites him to stay at the Tuohy home for the night. What stars out as a gesture of kindness turns into something more as Michael becomes part of the Tuohy family despite the differences in their backgrounds.

An American in Paris - DVD
Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron sing and dance to the music of George and Ira Gershwin in this winner of six Academy Awards. When ex-GI Jerry Mulligan (Kelly) remains in Paris to pursue life as an artist, he is discovered by a wealthy patroness interested in more than his art. But Mulligan falls in love with a French shop girl (Caron) who is engaged to his best friend. And thus a classic musical is born! Pass the tissues.

 

HOW TO ENTER

Leave a comment in the comment box below telling me what your favourite film is.

 

EXTRA ENTRIES

An extra entry for anyone who likes this blog on Facebook - state in your comment if you're claiming an extra entry.

 

CLOSING DATE

This competition closes at midnight on Sunday 25th March and the winner will be chosen at random as soon as possible after that.

 

RESTRICTIONS
Whilst I am happy to post these films to you anywhere in the world, please note that they are UK releases and may not be viewable outside the EU.

 

You can find more competitions to enter at ThePrizeFinder - UK Competitions and Loquax Competitions

LEGO Top 10 movie moments

Love movies, love LEGO, love this:

 

Dude, where's your tail? Dolphin Tale DVD review

 

Out this week on DVD and Blu Ray, Dolphin Tale is a surprisingly touching and charming film based on the true story of Winter the dolphin who lost his tail and had a new prosthetic tail added instead.

Eleven year old Sawyer is dadless and friendless, when he finds an injured dolphin on the beach and follows it back to Harry Connick Jr's marine hospital.

Morgan Freeman and his bucket full of gravitas also star as the prosthetics specialist who designs a new tail for Winter. So far so cheesy:

 

But as it turns out, Dolphin Tale is light on the fromage factor. This is a sweet story that's not too saccharine. A certificate U, it's suitable for all ages and would go down well as a sleepover movie or half term afternoon family film, without boring the knickers off any adults in the room.

It's surprisingly sad in parts - there's the lonely kid who finds new friends through his relationship with the dolphin, and I was particularly moved by the extra footage showing the real life Winter swimming with fellow amputees. OK, so it may have been dust in my eye, but yes I did shed a real tear. Genuinely heartwarming. I was glued to this film and couldn't turn it off, even though I needed to go and pee, which was not easy given the amount of water onscreen throughout.

We were sent the triple play version for review, so as well as a Blu Ray disc to watch, the DVD and digital download options gave us more options, and came in very handy when we wanted to show it on a laptop at sleepover time. At £14.99 I think the triple play edition is good value.

The childrens' verdict: "This was very emotional! We laughed at Rufus the funny pelican but it was sad to see the dolphin without his tail. The dolphin was super cute and it made us understand about real life amputees. There was a girl with one leg, which broke my heart, but then she saw the dolphin and was happy, it was so sweet."

Dolphin Tale is available on DVD, Blu-ray, and triple play with digital download from 13th February.

I am a rock - Journey 2: The Mysterious Island film review

 

You might have seen TV trailers for Journey 2: The Mysterious Island  which opened this week. It's a sequel to 2008's Journey to the Centre of the Earth, which I didn't see, but by all accounts was a real stinker.

So when the film company sent us tickets to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, I must admit that my expectations weren't exactly high. But I like sitting in the dark inhaling popcorn so we gave it a go.

And you know what - it was much better than I expected. Way better, in fact. It's a classic Saturday afternoon slice of the slightly stupid, just what every family film should be.

This journey is to a weird island where animal size is reversed. So you get elephants the size of teddy bears, and bees big enough to ride on. Which Michael Caine gleefully does.

Michael Caine riding a bee - now there's something you don't see every say.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island has the sort of plot that's best not examined too closely, as it's pretty preposterous. Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson spends much of the film exuding dadly wisdom, solving codes and punching mega lizards. Then he bounces berries off his chest. At one point he sits down and has a little singalong with a ukulele. As you do.

It's a little bit Lost, a little bit Jurassic Park meets Gulliver's Travels, if Gulliver had really over-developed pecs.

Since there are moments of peril, it's a PG but not a terribly scary one. There are lots of animals unexpectedly roaring out of the screen, which my 8 year old found thrilling, but which might be too much for a sensitive six year old. All in all, it's the perfect film for school age children on a half term afternoon, and parents with a high tolerance level for daftness.

 

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is out now in 2D and 3D formats

Pass the popcorn: Polar Express vs The Iron Lady

One thing I really love to do in the Christmas holidays is watch films in the afternoon. This is something I mean to do all year round, but never quite manage (pesky stuff like work and the school run always get in the way).

We've got a big stack of preview screeners to get through - so far Arthur Christmas very good, TinTin even better.

The Polar Express, which has just been re-released, has stood up to the test of time well (as long as you don't watch it straight after TinTin). Though I bet the people behind the DVD/Blu Ray release are spitting feathers at the TV schedulers who're showing the film on Christmas Eve on ITV1.

I had forgotten that there are a lot of thrills to be had in the train section of this film - it looks like a 3D movie ahead of its time. But it all goes a bit flat when Santa appears - he's very sombre and waxen. He should hang out with the assorted Claus family from Arthur Christmas.

What you won't get on the TV showing are all the DVD extras and, if you have a 3D TV, it's released in that format too. I don't think The Polar Express is quite the Christmas classic it imagines itself to be, but as a film to cuddle up on the sofa to with your family, it's pretty good.

And then when the kids had gone to bed, it was time for a horror movie in the shape of The Iron Lady AKA The Margaret Thatcher Story.

What a crazyparade this is - best approached as a pantomime, with the aid of strong drink. If you're watching it surrounded by a bunch of Daily Mail-ites (and let's face it, who else is going to pay money to see this?), shout "She's behind you" from time to time for your own amusement.

My favourite moment was a long lingering shot of the contents of La Thatch's bathroom cabinet, showing a large packet of Windcheaters. I had not heard of these before, but Google informs that they're a certified cure for fanny farts. TMI, Thatch movie, TMI.

Also could have done without the emphasis on Denis & Margaret's 'passionate' relationship, or indeed Richard E Grant as Michael Heseltine. Eurgh. Pass the eye bleach.  If you must see this one, do it either an empty stomach, or blind drunk.

How to get through The Smurf Movie without wanting to kill yourself

Ever since we made our Build a Bear Smurfs, The Offspring have been slavering at the prospect of The Smurf Movie.

I have not. The smell of this one had started wafting our way, and it wasn't good. I tried to dump it on to JH, but he pointed that he had already visited his own seventh circle of cinema hell in the shape of Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.

So yesterday we did the deed and went to see The Smurf Movie. And yes, the children did enjoy the film. Personally, I felt it was a horrible waste of everyone involved's time.

Parents, if like me you get sucked into the vortex of hype that is The Smurfs, here are a few tips to help you endure the experience:

Film preview: Mr Popper's Penguins

So what happened to Jim Carrey? He was your classic rubberface funnyman star of Dumb and Dumber, The Mask and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, then he went a bit serious with The Truman Show and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and then - what? He's only gone and come full circle with a film that harks back to where he started.

In Mr Popper's Penguins, just like in Liar Liar, Carrey plays a divorced dad who's having trouble connecting with his kids, until fate intervenes - this time in the shape of six penguins.

 

Carrey's charm can carry a film like this, but it's not a patch on the films that really stretch him. I'd love to see him play a nasty villain - I bet he does a good line in supercreepy.

We found Mr Popper's Penguins to be patchy and slow to get going - it took at least 20 minutes for some penguin poop to make an appearance, and that was way too long. Younger children in the preview we attended were definitely restless when the penguins weren't on screen.

The plot has such gigantic holes in it that I wondered whether the scripts had been printed on slices of Swiss cheese.

But there are definite laugh out loud moments - just not enough of them. My kids gave it 7/10, and that's including an extra point for the penguins.

 

Mr Popper's Penguins starring Jim Carrey opens in the UK on 5th August

News of the World - The Movie

So it turns out they're making a film about the News International shenanigans. Great cast signed up already: