I wrote this article for a women's magazine a few years ago and had lots of feedback from people who found it helpful. Hope you do too...
TURN COMFORT EATING INTO COMFORT LIVING
So you’ve had a hard day at work. The boss was a beast, the boyfriend didn’t ring and now you’re home even the cat’s in a mood. You’re feeling down and you need some comfort – and if it comes shaped like a tub of ice cream and tasting like double chocolate chip, all the better. Yes, you might feel sick as a pig tomorrow, but for now at least, you’ll feel good fast.
One of the big differences between so-called 'naturally thin' people and those who aren't is that the skinnies don't generally use food as anything other than stuff to eat. The rest of us, however, will use it for comfort, to de-stress, as a reward, to stave off boredom - anything other than the purpose for which it was intended. Food becomes less of a way to provide yourself with nutrition and more of a way to bliss all your cares away. So how can you break the cycle of comfort eating? Is it really as simple as looking for comfort elsewhere?
WHAT IS IT?
The first thing to realise is that it’s not just about you being a greedy pig who can’t cope – the actual foods themselves have a role to play in this scenario. They don’t call it comfort food for nothing. Comfort eating is something that’s instilled in us from the moment we’re born. A baby cries, and its mother comforts it with milk.
A study at the University of Illinois in 2000 found that the main reasons why people choose certain foods as comfort foods are past associations and personality identification (“My mum always used to give me ice cream when I was ill”). They also found that preferred comfort foods differed by age, with 18-34 year olds preferring ice cream and biscuits, 35 to 54 year olds pigging out on pizza and pasta and the over 55’s going for heartier stuff like soup and potatoes.
What’s more, eating this stuff really does make you feel good. Gillian Riley, author of Beating Overeating says “There’s a reason why we don’t grab a stick of celery when we want to use food to cheer ourselves up – it’s all to do with the Glycaemic Index (GI) of foods. Foods with a high GI give you a quicker high – you feel good faster”. Foods with a high GI include (surprise surprise) sugary stuff, chips and white bread.
The fact that this fast energy rush results in an emotional feeling is all down to how your brain works. Deanne Jade of the National Centre for Eating Disorders points out that “The centres in our brain that process the chemicals from food are very close to our emotional centres and they affect each other. So if you’re feeling down it may have as much to do with what you had for breakfast yesterday as anything else. If you’re eating lots of sugar and refined food, it’s not surprising that your emotions will become scattered.”
Ashok Gupta, director of the Harley Street Stress Management Clinic adds “Food represents something you do have control over which can provide a perceived instant comfort from negative emotions, and so it seems easier to do this than to deal with the source of these emotions. However, the comfort is often short lived, and people normally end up feeling worse afterwards, both physically and emotionally.”
WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
Remember that to comfort eat is to some extent natural and normal – what could be more comforting and warming on a winter’s day than a bowl of hot soup? A spot of comfort eating from time to time isn’t a problem if you are generally eating well and being active. Only you can decide whether you’re doing it often enough for it to be a problem. If you’re eating in response to every emotional challenge that comes your way, then it may be time to look at what’s going on under the surface.
Eat well as much as you can. Deanne Jade says “If you get physically stable first then you will become emotionally stable. Regular healthy eating can change your emotional state in a major way.” Starvation diets will only leave your body and mind feeling deprived. A decent breakfast will set you up for the day and will leave you less likely to fall prey to comfort binges later in the day. Following the principle of feed your body, feed your mind, a well nourished body will produce a well nourished mind that is less prone to mood swings. The health website www.healthclinic.co.uk advocates learning to live by the 80:20 rule: “80% of food should be to maintain health and 20% of food for pleasure. This translates to trying to ensure that every plate of food contains mainly low GI foods and a small amount of high GI foods.” In other words, if there are more baked beans than crisps on your plate, you’re getting there.
Work out why you’re really eating. You may already know this, or it may take a bit more soul searching. Deanne Jade suggests you ask yourself what kind of hunger it really is – emotional or physical? For a week, keep a food diary and note down everything you eat. Also note how you felt at the time – were you hungry? What else did you feel?
Once you’ve identified what need the food is meeting, it’s time to see how you can meet those needs in other ways. Write out a list of at least 10 things that you find comforting – it could be taking a long hot bubble bath, talking to a friend, going for a run, lingering over your favourite magazine – anything as long as it’s not food related. Look for things that give you lasting satisfaction rather than immediate pleasure. For example, the endorphins released in just twenty minutes of hard exercise elevate your mood and energy levels for up to two hours afterwards.
Next, make a point of doing at least one of these things at least once a day. The point of this is to build up your reservoirs of comfort and wellbeing – you’re less likely to reach for the chocolate in times of stress of you take steps to avoid getting all that stressed in the first place.
Next time you feel the urge to eat when you’re not really hungry – as yourself what’s really going on here? How can you deal with the source of what’s troubling you, rather than mask it with food? Remember that you don’t have to do it on your own. Speak to a friend, a counsellor or a coach – anybody who can support you.
Ashok Gupta also recommends focusing on how you felt after the last time you comfort ate – chances are you felt a bit heavy and bloated. Focusing on this will eventually cause your mind to associate comfort foods with that bloated feeling afterwards, thus reducing your desire for them.
Ashok also suggests concentrating on the benefits which will come into your life when you reach your ideal weight and figure. Under the headings personal, social and work, write down at least 10 benefits for each, then put the list up on your wall. This gives the mind something positive to work towards.
If you’ve tried all this and still find yourself comfort eating, Gillian Riley suggests waiting before you attempt to change your behaviour – just deal with the experience when it happens. Ask yourself what’s missing in your life? Where is the gap that you’re trying to plug with food? Focus on making personal comfort and support a normal part of your everyday life, rather than something that only comes when you eat. Turn comfort eating into comfort living and you’ll soon start feeling naturally calmer, less stressed and healthier than you have in years.
Further resources:
Joanne Mallon is a life coach and NLP Practitioner. For further information about life coaching go to www.joannemallon.com
Gillian Riley runs courses on helping people break their addictive relationship with food. Details from www.eatingless.com
The National Centre for Eating Disorders Tel 01372 469 493 www.eating-disorders.org.uk
The Harley Street Stress Management Clinic Tel 020 7771 3209 www.harleystressclinic.com
(c) Joanne Mallon 2007
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