I think I would make a really good Pope.
- I went to Catholic school
- I did Latin O Level
- I look good in white and red and not just when I'm campaigning for The White Stripes to reform
- I know all the words for the songs from The Sound of Music
- I quite like the smell of incense
- I could happily sit on a golden throne all day
- I can supply my own Papal wine
- I like jobs that involve tweeting
- I am already a Reverend. I have an ordination certificate I sent off for from the back of the National Enquirer.
- I might not be youthful but I've got decades on the current guy
- I can say things that sound wise from a distance but on closer inspection turn out to be a load of guff
But don't despair if you would also like to be the next Pope but are not as well qualified as I am. As the writer Robert Anton Wilson said, You're all Popes!