They blinded me with science (not literally)
Lessons in writing from Jacqueline Wilson

Please nominate me...


I think I would make a really good Pope.

  • I went to Catholic school
  • I did Latin O Level
  • I look good in white and red and not just when I'm campaigning for The White Stripes to reform
  • I know all the words for the songs from The Sound of Music
  • I quite like the smell of incense
  • I could happily sit on a golden throne all day
  • I can supply my own Papal wine
  • I like jobs that involve tweeting
  • I am already a Reverend. I have an ordination certificate I sent off for from the back of the National Enquirer.
  • I might not be youthful but I've got decades on the current guy
  • I can say things that sound wise from a distance but on closer inspection turn out to be a load of guff

But don't despair if you would also like to be the next Pope but are not as well qualified as I am. As the writer Robert Anton Wilson said, You're all Popes!


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